Until You

Chapter Twelve

"Lord Hardly is throwing a ball," Jacob announced, placing yet another invitation on Ethan's desk that evening.

Sighing, Ethan turned his attention from the book of account before him, to the invitation, confused by society's insistence on extending invitations to events he was certainly inclined to decline. He thought it was strange that his disappearance from the social scene since his wife left did nothing to deter people from sending invitations his way.

"Send my regrets to Lord Hardly; I shall not be attending," he said, turning his attention back to the work before him.

Returning to the social scene of London would pass across the wrong message to the wrong people. It wouldn't just mean he was ready to socialize, it would mean he was ready to be married again – a lesson he learned quickly enough two weeks ago, when he made the mistake of attending a play at the theatre and Mrs. Grayson had practically shoved her daughter in his face.

He frowned at the memory. It was for that reason he chose to remain in hiding, away from the intrusive and often inquisitive glares of society. He preferred the safety and seclusion the high walls of his home provided, he thought, glancing around. Here, he could mind his business –which had done tremendously well in the last few months since Juliet's disappearance – and hope that some other scandal would arise soon enough to gain the attention of the gossip mongers, forcing them to turn their wrath from him to some other unfortunate fellow.

Still, Ethan couldn't help but feel trapped within his high walls. It had been many months since Juliet's disappearance and he still found it impossible to rejoin society. Juliet's betrayal clung to him, the stench of shame trailing him wherever he went. Yet, he wasn't the one guilty of an offence, it was Juliet. Juliet was the one who had deserted her marriage and her child, and had ran off to god-knew-where. Juliet was free to roam, while he sat imprisoned by the shame of her actions.

He shook his head, suddenly angered by the thought. For all he knew, Juliet was in the arms of her lover, away in a faraway land, having a fantastic time. He, on the other hand, was a coward in hiding.

"A ball!" he announced, spurred on by his fury.

"My lord?" Jacob blinked, visibly confused.

"I shall be throwing a ball of my own, right here! Prepare the servants and send out the invitations for this Saturday." It was short notice, but he feared if he didn't do it immediately, he would change his mind.

"Very well, my lord." Jacob bowed slightly, skepticism dimming his blue eyes, and Ethan immediately knew the butler didn't think he would go through with it.

"Send out the invitations immediately," he gave the command, dismissing him with a wave of his hand.

He watched the butler exit the room and close the door behind him, fear immediately clouding his mind. What was he doing? Surely he wasn't thinking properly! Perhaps he must summon the butler and request that the plans for the ball be put on hold. He wasn't ready to face society. What would they think of him, crawling out of the darkness after so many months?

He couldn't do it, he thought, shaking his head. He couldn't bear the fawning mothers and their boring daughters. He couldn't bear the gossip that would follow the morning after the ball.

He reached for the bell to summon the butler, pausing in his tracks as he remembered the look on Jacob's face only a few minutes ago. No doubt, Jacob was standing at his door in that moment, fully expecting to be summoned to cancel the ball. He probably knew his master was nothing but a socially awkward coward!

Hissing, he withdrew his hand. For the sake of his ego, he needed to go through with the cursed ball! It was simply one evening, wasn't it? Surely he could survive an evening of torture and perhaps another several months of rumors.

~*~

The news of the impending ball in the castle traveled quickly enough for Gretchen to hear of it within a day. The staff expressed their surprise and excitement about Ethan's decision to throw one, but Gretchen simply thought it was none of her business. Her business lay with caring for Ellie, not with planning a ball.

Reaching for the napkin on the table, she wiped Ellie's hands clean of the grease that stained them. The child had begun to insist on feeding herself at dinner, the result of which left them both with messy dresses once dinner was over.

"Miss Riverside," Ethan called. She glanced up from wiping Ellie's hands clean, to find him staring at her.

"Yes, my lord?"

"I—" he hesitated. "I would um—"

Confused by his seeming lack of words, Gretchen retrieved the napkin from the child who was struggling to stuff it in her mouth, and dumped it on the table.

"Forgive me, Lord Williams, I do not wish to seem abrupt, but Ellie has succeeded in messing up both our dresses and I've found that grease is especially difficult to get rid of. The sooner we get out of these clothes, the easier it'll be for the maids to get them cleaned."

"Of course! I wouldn't want to keep you here for longer than is necessary." He cleared his throat, glancing down at his plate. "I shall assume you have heard about the impending ball?"

"Yes, my lord, the servants seem eager for it."

"Good. And you, Miss Riverside?"

"Me?"

"How do you feel about the ball?"

"I haven't given it much thought, Lord Williams, I assumed it wasn't going to be of any concern of mine? Perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps you have an assignment you would like for me to carry out in the planning?"

He shook his head. "Far from it, Miss Riverside, I would hate to add a trivial ball to your herculean task of caring for my daughter."

She nodded, confused by where it was the conversation was headed as well as eager to be rid of her stained dress.

"But of course, you're welcome to attend as my guest."

"What?" She gasped, shocked by his invitation. Even more so, she was shocked by the implications of his invitation – did he mean for her to be his date? The thought alone caused her face to catch fire.

"Only if you'd like. It is completely up to you, of course. I shall understand if you're unable to, as I understand that caring for Ellie is a lot of wor—"

"It will be my pleasure to be your guest, Lord Williams!" she hurriedly inserted, unwilling for him to withdraw his invitation. The thought of being by his side like she had been on the evening of the play thrilled her beyond words. She longed to feel his arms around her, his cologne intoxicating her.

Pleased by his invitation, she spent the evening rummaging through her small pile of clothing for something appropriate to wear for a ball. When she found nothing appropriate, she cursed the scoundrel who had stolen her luggage on the day she arrived in London, for there was a very lovely red dress in there that would have suited the event perfectly. What was even better than her red dress suiting the event was the fact that she thought Ethan would have loved it... He would have loved her in it.

Sighing in resignation, she settled on a day dress she had bought from Sue, hoping the cheap thing would have the same effect on Ethan as she was certain her red dress would have had.