Book of Believers

Agi | Faith

MY MOM HAD A CANCER.

     The day I found out about it was literally the day that I cried my heart out, begging on my knees that God wouldn't take her. I cried and cried until I fell into a deep slumber. And by the time I finally woke up, I cried again but no tears would come out.

     I knew, there was a way to treat cancer but I also knew there was thousands of people who died because of cancer. And the thought of losing my mom, the one and only pillar of my life, broke me down.

     When all things failed you in life, you turned to either insanity as you denied all of it or you turned to God for help as you started to embrace it and believed He could make it better.

I didn't go insane, I prayed daily instead.

     When she had her surgery to remove the cancer, I didn't cry, fully knowing tears wouldn't solve the problem. I prayed instead, giving it all to the almighty, knowing that He'd do what best for all of us.

     When the chemotherapy turned her nails to black and her hairs started falling and she cried at her own reflection in the mirror, I didn't cry. I prayed to God to make her stronger.

     When the medicine that they used for chemo was too painful, I didn't cry. I prayed that He'd make her stronger so she could bear the pain.

     When the nurse found it hard to find her vein for the IV fluids, I prayed that God would help her find it so that she wouldn't hurt my mom by trying to plug the syringe here and there in the process of finding the right one.

     When she cried at night because her body was in agonizing pain, I hugged her and prayed that God would have mercy and lessen her pain. I wished I could bear half of her pain so she wouldn't have to suffer alone.

     When she puked all of her food because the chemo messed up with her body and her appetite, I ran for a glass of water for her and prayed that she would be able to eat again.

     And when it finally over, I thanked God for making her a stronger person now that she was through all that and survived. I thanked God for always there whenever she screamed her lungs out for help. I thank God for letting her stay in this world instead of taking her away.

When you walk on faith, you don't blame God or the world of the misfortune that you're going through.
You don't curse the wind or throw your fist at the wall. You don't cut your wrist to get the easy way out.

Instead, you smile and pray for Him to make you stronger.
You believe that He won't give you something you can't bear.
You believe that something good will come.
You walk on faith.