What Would Happen If Fangirls Ruled The Universe?

Chicken Nuggets

As Uiop, Asdf and I slowly made our way into the dilapidated mall, Asdf began sniffing at the air, meowing quietly.

"Watch your back," I whispered to Uiop, and she nodded silently.  Suddenly, a single bark echoed through the hallways.  The hair on the back of my neck stood on end as Uiop and I went back-to-back, readying our weapons.

A lone wiener dog leaped out from behind some wreckage, baring it's fangs as it's red eyes glittered coldly.  I fired a tennis ball, hitting it square in the face as it crumpled to the ground, unconscious.  You see, you can't kill a demonic wiener dog, only knock it out long enough to escape.

I was so preoccupied I didn't notice that Asdf had wandered off, as cats will, and was now meowing from farther along the hallway.  As Uiop and I made our way over, still ready in case any other dogs were lying in wait, my eyes fell on a most welcome sight.

"FOOOOD!!" Uiop yelled joyfully, running towards the vending machines, gleefully breaking in the old, cheap plastic with her walking pole.  I jogged toward the beverage machine, pullind a bobby pin out of my pocket, and setting to work on the lock.  In a couple minutes, I was gratefully chugging water out of a plastic bottle, while Uiop alternately shoved supplies in my backpack, and mini-pretzels in her mouth.

"Ambrosia of the Gooooods!" she sang, her mouth full of half-chewed pretzel.  I ceased my water-chugging.

"Trade?" I said, holding out the half-full bottle.  She glanced down at her quarter-full pretzel bag, conflicted.  She opened her mouth to reply, when Asdf started headbutting our shins, meowing.

"Cat!" Uiop huffed, "I am trying to make imPORtant decisions, and you are interrupting me!"

I gave out a "HA" before reaching into my pack, pulling out a mug.  I poured some water into it, setting it down, but Asdf ignored it, trotting off in the opposite direction, heading towards an abandoned JCPoppy's.  Uiop and I looked at each other, shrugged, and followed.

Inside the JCPoppy's were racks and racks of fading clothing, some referencing various movies that had come out at the time of the breakout, others just looking plain weird.  We followed Asdf until we came to the very back of the store, where, in a pile of toppled merchandise, lay a young boy, sleeping soundly.

"H-How did this guy even get here?" Uiop said, turning to me, shock on her face.

"I don't know," I replied, equally mystified, "I'm more interested in how he's survived so long."

He certainly didn't look like apocalypse material.  He only looked like he was five, maybe six years old.  His arms and legs were skinny, and his light blonde hair was tangled and matted.

"Should we even wake him up?" Uiop asked, getting over her initial shock, "I mean, we may have supplies now, but I don't think having another mouth to feed is the best idea."

I knew I should've agreed.  The world was run by survival of the fittest now, and having a scrawny, potentially loud and hungry five-year-old to deal with was probably not the best plan.

But then I thought about what Mom and Dad would have done, and I decided I couldn't just leave him there.  I knelt down next to the boy, trying to as quiet as possible.  Uiop hissed in protest, but I ignored her.  I laid a hand on the kid's shoulder and shook it a little.

"Wake up, kid," I said gently.  His eyes fluttered open, and he seemed confused.

"Who are you?" he asked, "Nugget hath not theen you people before."

My eyes widened, "Wow, that is some serious lisp you got there, kid."

"Nugget doeth not know what you're talking about.  You are annoying Nugget.  Shoo."  The kid waved his hand at me, looking away.