In A Orange Peeled World

"Friends"

...Why is it those moments, when everything is soundless, pieces tend to fall together..

..it's like reality is slowed down, besides my thoughts.

Have Clouds always moved like that... like a thought. They drift.

Who knows where they come from.. some look pretty.
..Others look ugly..

With clouds, there's weather.

I hate it when it rains, shit. I hate it when it's sunny. Nothing's ever perfect or just right..

             " ... since when has it been."

       If this was a suicide letter.

I want it to start off saying.. Would you miss me?

I miss you and I haven't even stepped off the ledge yet.
Just,
...one.
..Little.         ...Step.

Onto the stairs of success...

I've always wondered what it would feel like to be on stage.
I couldn't see myself walking for graduation... well I could see myself walking...
Just.. not on stage. In fact.. I graduated like everyone else did in the year of 2016. It felt like, just yesterday. I was taking my last Chemistry Tests Stoned.

Yes, I was little high off the Grail.. but the fact I was barely passing,  didn't matter anyway.. so before that, I rolled one up and sailed off!
..Right into that classroom where my last and FINAL exam will ever be!

  ... Walking out that class basically with a diploma in my hands. I was a different person then...

It always felt like I was alone..but after high school... life.. really hit.

I wasn't as alone..
..I was living with my mom a year and half later. My little brother singing along to RIDE by Twenty One Pilots.. life catches up..

..I used to be that kid..

                                    -the song changed

.. Now when it came to music.. I liked my Suicide Squad Pandora Station.
  "Gansta is my shit!"
So I thought... but it was over so quick..
.. uhwa, there goes my mind.. into the forth song.. something about moving mountains?

But man, if I could move mountains... I'd do it for her!
       Fuck! I talk waaaaay too much!
Her!
     Her.
Her...

Shit... I think I'm in love. It's like falling into black hole and being never able to escape. Then a sudden burst of flames makes it hot enough to smelt Iron in my chest. The gravity.. it's holding me down...

Who knows what else could happen. It feels like I'm going to pull a fucking Katana out my head, Gosh Damn!

"IT HURTS! OUCH! SsssssssssSSSSHIT! This reeeeeally stings!" Feels like there's a Pulling of  a sliver, out of my finger, but the pain being in my chest.

"What! Ya Not Tough Enough?!"

I kept hearing these mysterious voices in my head.

They were saying all types of things.

"Doooouble tap!? Doooouble tap!?"

It sounded like my little brother, only it wasn't.
   It was a different kids voice.

                           ~
I should have just Double tapped his ass and left him dead. Not, My fucking brother. This loser. He fucked my bitch. Well she wasn't really my bitch at the moment but.. moral of the story. She was my ex. Now, don't get me wrong, we weren't together but... I... liked her?! .. A lot! Now she is not, (echym) *clears throat* "Her!", but she, my ex, was a slut..
She fucking told me after the fact that we had sex, that she fucked my former ex best friend. Now I don't know if this is some degrassi type shit. But what they both did was wrong. I almost loved this dumb bitch.. and now this fat fucking low life piece of a scum, dick bum, kid rapist shit turd has to duck up my life. Like what the hell.. I thought you were my dog. But now you are my dog.
         "BITCHES REFERRING TO MOTHER OF BEASTS! I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU, SIRE BITCH!" , I wish I could go in the past and stand on a lunch table, and shout this!
       "BrandBum, you fucking coon! I'd Slap the Clap out of you!"
                                    No for real.. I want you dead.

But despite of the fact that I had to use a cover up name to make this fictional...

The only thing that was starting to seem real, as well fake.. ..was life. And in my One in a half seconds being out in the world.. I've already been to rehab, moved 3 times (constantly), lost my girl friend, lost my best Friend. Measured out the distance between the beginning and the end, I've been shot at, and now... I'm in hiding. Hiding from what you may ask.. ..love.
Well.. it's lust.. but you know, that puppy love catches up. Speaking of puppies, my mom literally just got one..

I over herd her talking outside, the window, exclaiming at the dog.. I began to overthink.

"What if it's a German shepherd!
  A German Shepherd it has to be! It's the only dog I've ever wanted."    ..i w-... I walked my teary ass eyes outside to see some black dude and a pit.

Now you have to know, I just got done seeing a glimpse of time, the Freaking Future ,with me and this imaginary German Shepherd. And I come out ... to this piece of shit of a species and this pit..  I was like, fuck it. It's my dog.. but it's not "the" dog. And supposedly the puppy pits name is Charlie. I really don't like that name.. Harley Sounds way more suitable.. or at least something else from me with more thought..

Ha. More thought..

*gulps Beer*

"I realized there's no thought.." , I fainted at this party once. A couple people had to help me up.  But once I was walking, I stumbled off alone.. I continued speaking to myself..

"There's no thought into.. thinking!", I said aloud and I could of sworn I herd something.. but I didn't.. so I kept walking..

And out from behind these  trash cans, off to the side, this familiar voice started talking..

"You did hear something you idiot!"

I was having a hard time making what it was behind the garbage cans. But then on the ground, from beneath I saw this hand fall out..   it didn't look so alive.. actually it was blue and gray. And the nails were black and covered in blood.. A little pale .

I walk closer trying to fit things together in my head. but then it flipped upside and got sucked up!? Fingers towards the sky.

I had to look like I was a cat. ..

This was the craziest thing I've ever seen... I slowly approached it... drunk out of mind.. and I tripped, falling , looking in the... die-rec-tion of nothing...

I'm on the ground.. looking sideways... into a abyss, behind these silver trash cans.. that hand must have been vacuumed in this... it almost looked emptiness. I whispered out, "Pssssssssssssst", It echoed.
The mimic almost sounded like someone hissing back.
              But then these two little red eyes.. appeared in the distance.

They were starting to grow, as if they were getting closer. Then pretty close to my face.. ...just from inside the dark shadows from the street lights. I could smell its breath... "Peppermint?", that can't be right. It wasn't cinnamon. Nor Scotch. It was a hard peppermint..
                       The eyes ascended back.. rolling. Then faded backwards. I turned to my stomach and crawled, following the rich aroma... it felt like I was being lured but I knew what I was doing.
I turned around to see how far I've traced into this... department of ... well whatever the duck I was in? My mind? It had to be that combined with a few more complicated features.

I had reached an edge.. starting to hear water streaming below.. I tried to balance close listening... listening... it sounded thick.. like blood.. but a hand pushed me off. Falling from trembling heights.. screaming for God to save me. I woke up to my sister pouring water in my face...

Was it the next day...?