"Want some?" He asked and I briefly questioned why he was opposed to weed but not cocain. I recalled the hour before when we sat next to one another and Devin, who I learned was the 'counselor' and not to call him Mr. Maden, told Matty to take his addiction slowly, to ease himself into not being on it. It would be hard, the withdrawals something like he's never experienced before, but in the end would surely be worth it.
"I thought you weren't supposed to?" I furrowed my eyebrows, more so wondering why I was concerned for the boy's habits when it in fact was beyond my topic of interest. Matty shrugged.
"Never said I couldn't." He responded in a voice that sounded like Devin's.
"You know it's not good for you, you're gonna get nose problems." I said, mom had always told me how bad it would fuck you up, for some reason the warnings about the destruction it causes to your nose always stuck to me.
"Why do you care so much about my nose?" Matty laughed sealing the bag, "I'll not right now if it makes you feel better." He rolled his eyes.
"Thank you." Scared I would get high off the smoke, I breathed in deep through my mouth.
"You don't know my friends do you," I shook my head no, "Adam, George, Ross," he pointed to each of them sat in a straight line across the opposite wall, "and then there's Nichole, who left."
"Hey." I waved to them although they seemed to take no notice to me.
"What's your problem anyway?" Matty questioned pulling a cigarette and lighter from his pocket. He placed it between his lips, hitting the lighter against the palm of his hands a few times as no flame would ignite. He finally got it.
"My mom thinks I'm gonna kill myself," I informed him, "I'm not gonna."
"Oh, that's heavy," he blew the smoke out through his mouth, "I don't think I want to die." He explained to me he wasn't interested in dying, just bored, he wants to live. He says I should too, we can live together. I shoot back by telling him 'those are big words coming from a boy who only just met me.'
"I've met you before," he argued through a cough, "you sit next to me in maths, she made us introduce ourselves to each other."
"That doesn't mean I know you." I retorted, trying to keep my grin hidden.
-
Matty drove Adam, George, and I home, the house I thought belonged to him was actually Ross's. According to Adam, who was still up-in-the-clouds, Ross's parents were rarely home as they worked constantly, it was a good place for them to go when they needed to get high. Information I did not find useful as I had no interest in getting into the world of drugs.
"We usually go on Thursday to hang out but we went today because Ross had to go to a dinner with his aunt that day." George explained, waving goodbye to Adam as he stepped out of the car. I was worried for them, going home in that state, their parents were for sure going to be pissed, but then again not all parents are like mine.
-
"Join us at lunch Monday?" Matty asked through the rolled down window. I take a moment to think. That'd mean one of two things.
1- I'd ditch Pete, my best friend since grade two. He'd understand if I did, but he'd be rather mad I left.
2- I'd have to bring Pete to sit with Matty and his friends. Not too much of a problem on the surface until you dig deeper and figure out Pete despises Matty, for reasons unknown to me.
"I'd love to." I semi-smile, not wanting to turn down the offer. I bashed myself for it once I got inside.
-
Upon my meeting with Matty on Saturday, he took it upon himself to show up at my house in Sunday. He hadn't asked just knocked on the door requesting to see me. Mom let him in, hesitant though. We sat on the floor in my room, me answering questions as he asked them. It was so we can get to know each other better but I had a suspicion that wasn't really the case.
"Have you ever kissed a guy?"
"No."
"Have you ever kissed a girl then?"
"No."
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
"No."
"A girlfriend?"
"No."
"Are you a virgin?"
"Why does a boy with a girlfriend care so much about my relationship status and what I get up to in my free time." I questioned, his cheeks turning a crimson shade of pink.
"I do not have a girlfriend." Matty crossed his arms and his curls bounced around a bit sending a smile to my face.
"Do too, you're all over Nichole." He looked at me as if I had a third eye.
"I'm not with Nichole silly, she just likes to mess around." He informed, me as if it was obvious. I thought back to my days at school, passing by him in the hallway, seeing him at lunch, she was never there.
"That's stupid." I shrugged not knowing what to say.
"Tell me about it, she says she can't be with me because she doesn't want to be the girlfriend of a druggie, all her popular friends will leave her." He seemed unfazed by this, almost as if it's been going on for a while now. It had occurred to me that Matty had feelings for the girl even though he tried to play it off like he didn't. Thinking I could help, I suggested to him something.
"We can pretend date and make her jealous." not thinking it would actually mean anything, it would be like acting. He looked at me in genuine surprise.
"We could, yeah, Amber Resser will you be my fake girlfriend?" He looked me in the eyes, grabbing my hands. My heart beat speed up as his brown eyes meet my blue ones and his thumb made small patterns on the back of my hand.
"O-of course." I gave a slanted smile.
"Damn you're bad at this, you're not supposed to fall for me." He joked. I couldn't help myself but to feel some sort of attraction to him in that moment. Maybe it was the way he looked at me as if nothing else mattered or the way he talked as if every word he said had been perfectly planned out for that exact moment in time. Or maybe I just wanted him because he wanted somebody else.
