temper tantrum ;; jjk

distance

i know for a fact that i was only the second choice; the second choice after every other female human-being resident on this planet. you only accepted me because you enjoyed having control over others, especially me.

i was weak; a strong woman on the outside, but after you got to know me, i became a bendable little girl, a person you were able to control and manipulate, a person you could talk into thinking that our relationship was healthy.

oh, it wasn't.

my thoughts circulated around you all the time. would you like the dress that i put on my exhausted body despite my aching bruised? would you like the food i made for you in order to strengthen you? would you recognize my efforts, the efforts that were made out of pure love? would you, would you?

of course you wouldn't, but i reckoned that your feebleness when it came to expressing your gratitude towards me came from the many hours you spent at your cold office, like you told me so many times. according to you, you were tired, and i believed you, because i had sometimes visited you at your work space and observed, how you signed paper after paper, drinking coffee after coffee, staring hungrily at assistant after assistant.

yes, you stared at them, you consumed them with you bare glance. you kept away from them, but i know that you were always thinking about them when you looked at me; you looked through me like i wasn't even there, only seeing the more appealing females who were there to brew coffee for the clerks at your company instead of me.

you were so close to me, but i couldn't reach you. you were so caught up in dark thoughts, that you didn't notice how my hand, that was constantly reaching out for you, slowly disappeared and got replaced by my adamant eyes that met yours, silently demanding you to close the unbridgeable distance between us.