Forever Roses {Harry Styles AU}

Chapter 14: Moving

Chapter 14: Moving – November 19, 2022

Either my heart is indeed numb, or I’ve actually gotten over her.

I told April I felt nothing but a sibling love for her. I went to their wedding. I saw them in love and Adrian treat her wonderfully. I helped them move their boxes into their new home outside of London.

And now I’m saying goodbye to April.

It’s like something in me doesn’t want to say goodbye because it’s not letting the words come out. I have to force them out.

I stretch out my arms, and April cuddles in them.

Adrian is watching from a few meters away. I don’t think he ever knew I loved April.

“I’m going to miss you so much! Promise to come visit me loads!” April exclaims. “Adrian and I will come to you too. Okay?”

“Right,” I agree cheerfully.

I’ve become a rather decent actor in the past year. Caitlin is the only person I can’t fool.

April gives me one last squeeze before Caitlin races up to her best friend. Caitlin was about a half hour south of London, and April is moving about a half hour north of London, so it’ll be farther for Caitlin now.

“April, I’m going to die without you!” Caitlin exaggerates profusely, practically shouting to the world.

Her friend throws back her dark brown hair while she laughs. “It won’t be that bad!”

I turn away from their girly goodbye and head over to Adrian. “Bye, mate. Good to see you. Congratulations again,” I tell him, patting him on the back.

“Thanks, Harry. Means a lot.”

The whole time we talk, both of our eyes stay on the scene of April and Caitlin hugging and smiling and joking and crying and laughing.

When the moving truck finally drives away, I breathe a sigh of relief. If, for some reason, I’m actually not over April, distance will surely do the trick.

As other friends and colleagues leave the area after the new couple’s departure, Caitlin and I stay side by side and watch the empty road.

“Let’s go grab a bite to eat, shall we?” Caitlin offers.

It was her car we used to get here, so she drives us to a diner a little ways down the street. In the meantime I answer a text from my mum – she just got home after coming to April’s wedding and then staying with me for a bit. Gemma couldn’t make it, and neither could my stepdad, but neither of them really know April as much as Mum did anyway.

Caitlin and I are silent through the drive and up until the waiter comes to take our order.

“Their wedding date was on the first of November, you know,” I bring up, surprisingly enough.

April – no, this is Caitlin I’m talking to – stops drinking her water. “And?”

“And the very first time I asked April out was on that same date.”

“Yeah, eleven years ago,” Caitlin points out. She’s really getting tired of my undying obsession with her best friend, and I can’t blame her. But they’re my feelings, and try as I might, I can’t seem to get them to go away and leave me be.

“I know.”

“It’s over, Harry.”

“I know.”

Her voice was softer at first, but it keeps getting more menacing. “If you had gotten over her and yourself you would’ve woken up to smell the flowers and really that she’s fucking happy and is in one of the healthiest and happiest relationships I know, but no, you’ve got to be just another selfish bastard and moan that, oh, poor me, I asked out a girl eleven years ago and she said no–”

“Caitlin,” I growl, but I don’t really feel the meanness beneath it.

“Harry,” she says in a low voice, “this is true, and you know it. It’s not even selfishness at this point because this is doing no good. You’re living a shitty life and I can’t very well leave you like this!”

“Thank you for everything, Caitlin,” I say, meaning it, and letting my defenses down. My shoulders sink.

She purses her lips but says nothing.

I remember the times that she could still be around me and smile at the same time.

I really am leading a terrible life. And making others suffer.

Damn it, why is Caitlin always right?

She takes one more look at me and sees my own realization. She doesn’t wait for her order to arrive; she picks up her purse and leaves.

At least I don’t live too far away, so it isn’t like she’s leaving me completely stranded.

I think back on everything she said that she’s definitely right about. I don’t know why I did what I did and why I’m still attached. I don’t understand myself. Humans – we’re extremely complicated. Life – it’s simple; it’s the humans that complicate it.

I understand now. I see sense. But I refuse to let it sink into me.

This should be the point where it all becomes clear to me and where I find peace and acceptance and then move on, but for some reason, I don’t.

My heart is indeed numb.

~.~ 

A/N: 

*Not Edited* 

Oh my gosh I know I know. And I'm going to update tomorrow. THE EPILOGUE. GOODBYE. -Stephanie.:)