ATER Book 2: Air

Chapter 4: Mixed Emotions

"What's going on?" I say as soon as I get out of the water. Khanu turned to look at me, his eyebrows pinched together.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Faking innocence, I thought. Real mature.

"Oh I think you do. Every single time I discover a new way to use bending- or even a way that I already knew- you always seem to be...." I trailed off, not sure if I should I go on accusing him. But he basically prompted me.

"I always seem to be what, exactly?"

"Jealous!" I spit the word out like it's poison. The word was such a cruel word, yet it didn't sound dark and ominous. It was high pitched and scratchy, like nails on a chalk board, or playing the E string on a violin out of tune.

"You're jealous of me, and I can't figure out why!" Khanu gave off a mirthless laugh.

"Is that what you think this is? Jealousy?" He gave me a perplexed look and shook his head. "No, this isn't jealousy."

"Then what is it? What is it that makes you pull a face, as if your pride has been wounded?" I was at my wits end. The entire time I was training with Salwa, Khanu just watched with a glare on his face. And whenever there was a new achievement, he would just walk away altogether, grumbling.

He averted his eyes. "That I can't tell you. If I did, well...." The change in character surprised me. First, he was about to blow up, and now he'd

gone into shy mode. I was taken aback.

"Khanu," I said gently, "I'm your friend. You can tell me anything." I put a hand on his shoulder only to have him flinch.

"If I told you," he continued without looking at me, "then I'm not so sure we would be the same."

"What do you mean?" He sighed and turned to look at me, a pained expression in his eyes.

"I mean, our friendship wouldn't be the same." I took my hand off his shoulder and took a small step back.

"And why is that?"

"If I told you, too many secrets would be revealed." He winced as soon as he said that. But I felt winded. Maybe I didn't have my story straight. What was he keeping from me?

"I thought we were friends." I tried not to let the hurt slip into my voice. "Why did you feel the need to keep secrets?"

"Because..." Khanu was almost whispering now. "Because I knew it would change our relationship. It would make it...awkward." My stomach turned. I didn't like where this was going.

"What...might change how I feel about you? Do you not want me learn a different element?" He shook his head rapidly.

"No, no, no, no, no! That's not what I meant! It's just...." He sighed. "Part of me really liked it when Salwa was talking about that separation thingy. You know, a thing only the Avatar could do. Or how to transfer that mind bending from Earthbending to Waterbending. But the other part didn't like it because..." He trailed off yet again, too afraid to continue.

"Because..," I prompted. He closed his eyes, and when he reopened them, I swear I could see his deep blue eyes turn glassy.

"Because....it meant you were getting better than me. And if you were better than me, then, well, why would you like someone lesser than you?" I was even more taken aback. Was he confessing that he...he liked me?

His face is contorted in pain, tears slowly slipping out. "Stupid, right?" He turned to leave.

"Khanu, wait!" He held out his hand, creating distance between us.

"You know what? Just...just don't!" He turned and ran into the pavilion.

"Khanu!" I called after him, but he just kept running. I stood there in the middle of the path, not sure if I should follow him or stay behind when Salwa came up behind me.

"I think it's time I stopped being your trainer today, and resume being your friend."

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"But why would he feel that way?" I asked. Salwa had brewed a fresh pot of green tea, and we were sharing it in her room. I wasn't really in the mood to talk about feelings, but Salwa suggested that I gush to her. Kind of hard to do when they're all mixed up and chaotic, I thought sadly.

Salwa set down her cup and thought for a moment. "Well, let's see. He said that you were learning a lot more, and becoming more powerful, so I assume he meant by you learning airbending, you were becoming more powerful than him."

"And that scared him?" I wanted to laugh. For the time that I had known him, and even during the time I only knew of him, nothing had really scared him. Not dark spirits, not giant tsunamis, not anything. But feelings now all of a sudden did?

"I guess he just feels weak compared to you."

"Weak? Compared to me?" Salwa shrugged.

"Well, think about it. You're learning to master 4!elements while he gets only 1."

"But I haven't mastered them yet!" I felt like I wanted to break something, this was so stupid! I set down my cup, and began to pace.

"Are you saying you're not better than him?" Salwa asked carefully. I don't even have to think about my answer.

"Of course I'm not better than him!" I threw my hands into the air in frustration. "He's such a better waterbender, a fighter. I only won one fight against him because I accidentally used earthbending!"

Salwa grabbed my arm to stop my pacing. "Luna, listen to me. Boys are weird. For some reason, they want to feel superior to us. For what reason, I don't know. But right now, he feels that you're superior to him."

I pinch the bridge of my nose. "Then he has his wires crossed." I looked out her window at the pavilion. I wanted to go out there and track Khanu down. To tell him the truth. But I knew I should give him time.

Or maybe it was because I needed it myself.

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I will admit, I cried a little while writing this chapter. But that's just me. I had this image in my head of his face perfectly and that made me cry. I hoped you all enjoyed it! Feel free to comment and don't forget to vote!

Ciao!-Lauren