Defiant love

Chapter 3: The Truth Or The Lies?

Amarah's pov:

'The warm days were starting to get colder. I didn't want anyone to stay with me. I didn't talk to mike for days, guess I got into another breakup. All I want, with me, right here, right now, in every single moment is Aiden, I suppose It cannot go this way!'

I tuck myself in the quilt. It feels good to feel warm in the cold. It's the most blissful thing ever. I close my eyes and I don't know how! But I imagined Aiden holding me in his arms. It felt so heartwarming, his hands wrapped around my back and mine wrapped around his. And when I opened my eyes, it was dark, it was just a fantasy, a fairytale and It can't happen.

It just can't.

'It's been days since I started to skip school and came out of town. I feel like I should move away or something like that. Maybe i could start over and join up with hula-hoose in the Amazon. Or maybe I should get over it or perhaps I can drown in a self-created ocean of tears. OK this was too much drama.'

I come out of my quilt and look at myself in the mirror.

'I'm blushing! Why? Cuz i feel cold? or cuz I've been day dreaming about my best friend cuddling with me, or that I skipped school and came to my aunts to get away from my other best friend, who was trying to reach me through the phone, or my boyfriend who is my ex-boyfriend but It's too confusing.......... And here it goes I was depressed, again! I'm no good! why the hell was I ever born? I just want to die!'

I couldn't control myself, so I went to the kitchen and broke a glass. I took a piece with not too sharp edges and cleaned the mess quickly, I just looked at my wrists and cried for hours, staring my scars and took the splinter in my hand. I gripped it so hard that my right hand was bleeding. And I started to tear my skin open. One cut. Two cuts. Three cuts. Four and my arm was covered in scars and blood, again. I didn't feel broken and in pain anymore. I knew it wasn't right and that people would think that I'm filthy. But those people did break my heart after all. I stopped crying after almost five minutes. And I thought about my life. "My life" it felt so awkward didn't it? and I started to smile and after a few seconds the tears i held with such courage rolled down my cheek, they were so warm. I knew that my cheeks had turned red cuz I had been crying for hours. I got up and washed my hand. I felt better now. I felt less broken, less in agonizing pain. I was sad, and I knew it. I thought to myself 'That's how we broken deal with ourselves. We are always criticized for wanting attention' but I don't care anymore I'm far better alone. After that I got out of the bathroom and covered my scars. I started packing my things. I wanted to go home. To feel broken. 'At least I won't have to feel guilty after having a moment of happiness'. And I stood in front of a mirror. I looked so pretty. And a moment flashed into my mind.

"Because of you I have a reason to be thankful everyday"

I remembered what Aiden said.

And I burst into tears. Why does everything have to be this way!

I sat on the floor right on the spot where I was standing and cried for a few minutes. I heard my aunt. She was back from her office. I wore a shirt with soft sleeves so my scars wouldn't feel like thorns being pushed into my skin. And I put everything perfectly folded in my bag and took it out of the room.

"Okay young lady would you care to explain what's going on?" my aunt said.

"I want to go home Aana" I said politely while looking away.

"Okay that escalated quickly. But it's okay honey. It's a good thing. Want me to drop you?"

"Okay! I'll get something to eat for you" I said with a fake smile and closed my eyes at the same time since they itched, I could feel them drying up.

"No thanks. I already ate" she said while checking for keys in her bag.

"Oh okay!"

We got into the car It was very hot today. I felt cold inside the house but now that I came out of the house I came to know that its hot. I took off my jacket and put in the backseat of the car. I felt sweaty on the forehead. My aunt on the other side? Well she was the intelligent one! She changed into a regular shirt and jeans and came and sat on the driving seat. She started laughing loudly

"So! You didn't know that summers are near and the weathers changing?"

"NOOOO! I didn't! How the hell am I supposed to know?" I said irritatingly.

"Okay okay! wanna go and change?" she said calmly and sweetly.

I shook my head and she sat in the car. She drove the car like a plane too fast, I on the other hand was exhausted, so before I knew I was asleep. She woke me up when we were close to my home. I opened my eyes and saw Aiden lighting a cigarette while the car was passing. He looked tired, exhausted, what's the word i should use but i don't want to use? Yes, he looked like he was "broken". I felt guilty. My heart warmed up in my chest but I knew I was having chills. What had I done? Was he feeling guilty because I left? I couldn't think straight and I turned my phone on. TWO HUNDRED MISSED CALLS!! I was freaking out so I switched my phone to 'silent' I saw Aiden's messages first he said he missed me and that he felt pained watching me cry, he wanted to talk to me but my phone had been off. Other dozens of messages were about him missing me, he texted:

"Please! Where have you gone to! Come back I beg you. Kill me with your own hands but don't punish me like this!"

another one of his text was:

"I love you, Miss Aamarah Grey. I love you so much. Come back! I would never come to you ever again, I didn't want to break your heart. I went to your home. But couldn't find you there. Your mother said that you didn't want anyone to know where you were and wanted to be left alone. I spied your room at night. I'm sorry for it but I just wanted to make sure if you were alright! But that's the thing you weren't there. The girl I told you about was you. You just had the most innocent look on your face I couldn't tell you, I was scared that you might ignore me afterwards and that I would break your heart. I love you more than anything"

I felt so confused. Maybe he wanted me to come back and was making it all up. 'How can he love me!!' I tried gathering my thoughts but it was all in vain. My aunt sopped the car and told me to take care as she had to get home quickly. I took my stuff and entered inside. I couldn't make up of whatever I was thinking. What if he really does love me? I went straight to my room and my mom had bought me beautiful string lights they were everywhere, complimenting my dark themed room. My heart felt warmer. Happier.

"Do you like it honey?" she said with a smile.

"Thank you so much mama! I don't like them. I love them" I said as I hugged her.

"Why don't you change and come downstairs later so you can eat something" she said with the softest smile.

"I don't feel like eating I'll just get some rest." I said trying not to look as if I had cried.

"Okay dear. Good night"

"Wait what? What time is it?" I said shockingly.

"11:00 PM" She said while wondering.

"Whaaaattt!"

"Why, what happened? Is something wrong honey?" She said while raising her eyebrow.

"No mum I just wanted to call Amber and Scarlet. You know, let them know I'm back"

"You can talk to them at school."

She knew. My mother knew that I was talking about Aiden. That I was dying to see his face and I would definitely want to talk to him since she knew that I loved him.

"Yeah Okay I will" I said with a smile.

"Goodnight sweetheart" She said warmly.

"Goodnight mum"

A/n:
Hey guys, please please do vote for every chapter just click on the star and the magic is done. THANK YOU LOADSSSSSS. I hope you guys enjoy the story. Do leave feedback in the comment section since it keeps me motivated. I love you guys! X