"So, Rachel tell me about high school"
It was a simple enough question, but Rachel stumbled. She had been asked it over a thousand time before and normally would answer with a fake, "It was the best time of my life". But here she was, sat in front of her therapist and for the first time in many years she was ready to give the answer she had always wanted.
"it was the best and worst time of my life"
"Why do you think that was?"
Rachel thought, there was no simple answer. Looking down to her fingers she pulled on them. She knew the answer wanted to give but verbalising it was proving harder than she anticipated. She pulled on her index finger until she felt a pop and finally looked back to Baki, taking a deep breath, she steadied herself
"Because of her"
"Who?"
Rachell dipped her head again, her heart tugging in her chest just at the thought of the girl from her past who still haunted her present.
"Quinn", her voice was quiet as the name hummed from her lips.
Baki thumbed through her notes scanning each page until her eyes stopped and she looked back to Rachel.
"Ah, the cheerleader" she said and waited for Rachel to reply with a nod, "Who was she to you?"
Rachel wanted to sink into the seat and engulf herself within the cushions. She thought long and hard, the only rational thing springing to her mouth was.
"Everything.
Baki raised an eyebrow and sat forward "In what sense?"
"Every sense" Rachel sighed "She was my tormenter and my best friend. Hateful but so loving . She could make me laugh until I cried but cry until I was physically sick. . She was my worst nightmare masquerading as the girl of my dreams. She ruined me"
Baki didn't respond instead she waited for Rachel to carry on herself.
"but, I would do it all again, every single part of it. Because at the end of the day, when there were no halls, no lockers, no classes. No cheerleaders, no football team. No glee kids When it was just me and her, I loved her and she loved me it was that simple"
Baki took a deep breath and sat back in her chair. Trying to devour all the information. Before eventually saying "Take it back to the start, when did you first notice her?"
Rachel exhaled a deep breath "The first time I laid eyes on her"
"ok, when do you think she noticed you?"
Rachel sat back. the truth of the matter was, she wasn't sure when Quinn first noticed her, she had a vague idea of how it happened but not when.
9th grade - freshman year.
"And Quinn is pregnant" Sue said instantly drawing her eyes to the blonde. The entire choir room fell silent, some looking towards Quinn the rest looking everywhere but. Rachel was one of the students who was staring at Quinn, guilt consuming her, she was going to kill Ben Israel when she got her hands on him, the notion of which caused her skin to itch. Her eyes never left the blonde as she silently stood up and looked to her left where Finn was sitting with his head hung low before running out the room. Nobody moved. Nobody said anything, Even Finn just sat there dumbstruck, not even flinching as the door slammed shut behind his girlfriend. Rachel took to her feet before her brain caught up to her and stopped at the side of the aisle where Finn, Santana and Quinn's now vacant chair was.
"Aren't any of you going to go after her?" she asked eyeing both with equal disappointment.
"Stay out of it Berry" Santana warned but Finn didn't say anything, he wasn't even man enough to lift his eyes from the floor.
