Six Feet Under the Stars

Six Feet Under the Arguments

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TRIGGER WARNINGS: Heated Arguments, Explicit Language, Mentioned Suicide, Mentioned Cancer, Mentioned Death, Mentioned Alcohol Abuse, Mentioned Prostitution.

Read at your own risk. Please take note of the triggers.

I recommend listening to the song above and maybe watching the video either during or after reading the chapter, I think it helps set the mood. But you do you loves, have fun and enjoy x

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Alexis POV

"No, Alexis! The answer is no!"

I scowled. "Why the fuck not Nicole?"

"Don't call me Nicole, it's mum to you."

Rolling my eyes, I sighed, "You lost the title of mum when I started paying my own hospital bills. Oh and the uh... the rent, the electricity bills, the water bills, my education oh and food. For you AND me. And whatever boytoy you have in the house that certain morning, afternoon, night whenever the bloody time is. So don't you dare tell me to call you mum, when you don't deserve the title at all." Sarcasm and anger laced into my tone, I waited for whatever excuse she came up with today.

"Lexi -"

"DO NOT call me that." I snarled, how dare she think she can call me that after everything. Funny how when she's sober she seems to want a daughter again. But when she's drunk she wants absolutely nothing to do with me. My so called "mother" huffed, she, her, that witch, felt the need to huff, at me!

"Alexis, you know how difficult it's been for me lately, i've been working ver-"

"What even IS working to you mum? Drinking till you can't walk straight? Standing on a corner waiting for a pickup? I'm 17! I have a faulty heart AND terminal cancer and I work a job 'mother'. A real job. Where I get payed actual good cash, what i deserve. Not 30% of my "earnings" for that night. You could have very well had a job by now, but instead you're spending the money that I earn to keep us afloat, on alcohol. Leon has 2 jobs mum! Your 15 year old son has 2 fucking jobs! I only have 4 months left to live Nicole! And i'm spending those 4 months in a shitty suburb in New York City working with my brother in a stupid job to keep you, the adult in our family, afloat. So what's the harm? Why does it matter if I travel the world? I'm gonna die anyway. You however? You'll receive hundreds, maybe even thousands of dollars in compensation for my death. Enough to keep you and Leon afloat, while you get a job." By now i'm sure there was steam coming out of my ears. I couldn't for the life of me understand how one 45 year old woman could be so infuriating. I mattered to her about as much as one of her nightly boytoys. Or man whores, I like to call them. I reached up to grip my beanie and tugged it off, wanting to prove a point.

"See this Nicole?! See all that hair?" My voice rose in volume.

"Alexis, there is no hair there sweetie." A sickly sweet tone lacing her voice.

"Exactly! It's a reminder of how bloody sick I am! I have had so many bloody chemo treatments that they say the follicles in the roots of my hair are permanently damaged. That if by some miracle I did survive there's a 90% chance my hair won't grow back anyway. And if I do get better, which I won't, but if I did, there's an 80% chance I would relapse. Oh and not to mention I have a 60% risk of heart failure 24/7. What i'm trying to say is, Nicole, I have nothing left to in New York City. Nothing! No friends, no boyfriends, no pets, no parents, no future! There's Leon, but he's gotta a future, i'm just holding him back, it'll do him good if I leave. But see out there?" I pointed towards the window, the night sky illuminating the dark room further. My voice began to shake. "Out there Nicole, there's a whole world waiting to be explored. It's so cliche, but it's true. If I don't go now, I never will. All I'll have known for the entirety of my life is the white walls of the hospital and the stupid fluorescent pink walls of my room. I have 1 more chemo Nicole, then they said they can put me on hospice or I can die however the fuck I want. I will not die here. Whether you like it not. I don't even know why I asked, I should've just left. I don't matter to you anyways." I sighed and looked down, shaking my head.

"You can't." My mother muttered.

"Did you not just hear me? I said i'm goi-"

"No Alexis. You have no money." I was thoroughly confused now.

"Yes actually, I do. I have my savings account, there's $10, 000 from grandpa in there."

"I used it."

My heart sped up, this couldn't be happening. Not now, not when everything was finally starting to fall into place. No, no, no, no, no. God no. Please no.

"EXCUSE ME."

"I USED THE BLOODY MONEY ALEXIS, FOR ALCOHOL. I ran out and needed more, okay? It was desperate." She was sobbing now. Big, fat tears rolling down her sunken in cheeks. I was numb. I've cried so many times that when something bad happens around me or to me I don't cry anymore, i'm all out of tears. I've just become numb. I look up, right into her eyes.

"You've really outdone yourself this time. You've somehow managed to ruin everything once again. Don't come near me, ever again." I turned around, ready to leave.

"Alexis, please!" She whimpered.
"No Nicole. I'm done. I can't do it anymore. There's no point. I'll see you on the flipside."

With that I ran for the door, sprinting down the driveway. This was it. Tonight, was it. At least I would die under the stars.