Falling ➳ Hennig [4]

➳ 37

INCOMING CALL FROM: JJ❤️

ANSWER | DECLINE

"Do you think this is going to work?"

Jack paused, glancing sideways at Shelley who lay on the bed next to his, flicking through the handful of channels they were getting in the hotel room. "JJ, where's this coming from?" He asked, standing from his own bed, and ignored Shelley's curious gaze as he crossed the distance to the balcony doors, closing them as soon as he stepped outside.

"It's just— no one thinks we're going to work out, Jackson." She sniffled. "Everyone thinks that I'm going to mess up again— they all think I'm going to hurt you, again. And I know—  I know we were kids, and I know that I was 'in a bad place' or whatever—  I mean, just because you're getting beaten every day doesn't excuse you cheating on the one good thing that you had going on, does it? But... what if I do hurt you again? What if I'm subconsciously trying to ruin the one good relationship I've ever had? What if— Everyone thinks I'm a bad person." She let out a bitter laugh— the kind of self-depreciating laugh that crawled down Jack's spine, making him want to shudder, but he didn't.  

"JJ—." He leaned back against the wall. "JJ, who cares about what everyone else thinks—."

"You do," she interrupted, sounding suddenly drained and... and done. "You care, Jack. You've always care— everyone cares about someone's opinion, even if it's their own. It's human nature. And... I'm not good enough for you, Jackson."

"Is that so?" He asked, bitterly, quietly, sinking to the floor and bringing his knees to his chest. "Because I— I think you're plenty good for me, JJ. So what if you made some mistakes before? I don't care— I'm over it! I've moved on and I've healed and— and I love you, Jasmine. Isn't that enough?"

"But... but you love her, too, right?"

"Who?"

"Shelley. That's why Spencer and Cara were being weird on your post, right?"

"JJ, is this— are you jealous? Of Shelley? I admit that I had feelings for her before, but I already told you about that! And— and I told you about Rome. JJ, I told you everything— if you were uncomfortable with it, why didn't you just tell me?"

"Jack, I'm not uncomfortable with this. With her. With you." 

"Then why—?"

"She could be good for you, Jackson. Really good. Better than I could ever hope to be."

"Why are you saying this?" Jack asked, dragging his hand across his eyes to rid them of the tears that had started to gather. "Jasmine, I love you! You can't just— you can't." His voice broke on the last word. Inside, the TV's volume dropped.

"Maybe the reason everyone thought I was going to hurt you again is because that's what they wanted. Not for you to get hurt, but for me to be out of the picture so you and Shelley could have a chance. I— I think you and Shelley deserve that chance, Jack. I don't deserve your love, your heart, your commitment. Not again. Not when I betrayed your trust so many times." She sighed. "I'm not ending it over the phone, Jack. I refuse to."

"Then— then why'd you call?"

"I didn't want to spring it on you... I didn't want to hurt you out of the blue again. I wanted— I want us to talk about it, like adults. Like we should've done the first time around. The second time, too. I want to tell you why, properly. I want to tell you where this is coming from, because this has been buried inside me from the moment you kissed me again, Jack."

"Is... Is there any hope for us?"

"I don't know, Jack. I— I should go, Aniyah's waking up. I'll talk to you soon. I love you."

Jack knew there was no hope— he could hear it in the tone of her voice that she didn't think there was a way to salvage this, to salvage them. But, he'd be damned if he wasn't going to fight tooth and nail to keep her. He was going to listen to her worries, her insecurities, and he was going to soothe them, he was going to shoo them away, because they were going to work this time, damn it!

         The door of the balcony creaked open. Jack looked up just as Shelley stepped out, looking down at him with furrowed brows and a frown. She didn't say anything, didn't ask any questions. Instead, she simply sat down beside him, curling her hand around his and leaning her head against his shoulder.

         Neither of them spoke for an hour afterwards.

---

like 80% sure that FiNnNnSkAtAtA both loves & hates me right about now