Living with my brothers

Falling into you,

Cris doesn't talk for a long time.
I just sit and wait for him to react.
"Wow. Um, Ro, I've missed you too. But I thought that since you and I were drunk when we met, it would be just one of those things, you know, you get drunk and you mindlessly babble to whoever is near you," he says finally.
"I really like you Cris, I like to think of you as my honorary brother, you know, since my real ones are idiot pigs," I joke.
He chuckles. "Jamie, he's been through a lot of bad stuff, so that's why having someone get close to him, when he wasn't the one in control, scared him. Why did you want to know where he was going anyway?" He asks me. "Well, after I ran into him, and then he kept talking to me, I knew I was probably gonna miss first period anyway, so I decided to mes with him. It's only fair, he made me ruin my perfect attendance streak." I pout playfully. Cris laughs. "So, other than you showing up at where I work, bawling your eyes out, even though I haven't seen you in a year, how's life been for you?" He teases. I giggle. "You have the cutest giggle, oh my gosh!" He exclaims. "Thanks, yours isn't so bad either. I guess, life has been okay. My brothers are still my brothers, more protective than ever, and they don't know what happened the night of the party. Um, my grades have stayed in the passing range, and I'm head of the cross-country team. How's life been treating you?" I ask him. Th smile wiped right off his face, making me wish I hadn't asked. I would do anything to keep that lopsided smile on his face. "My dad died, and my mom left us when we were young, so I had to drop out of school to take care of Jamison. But I like my job, you know, it's good enough, and it pays crap, but it's something," he finishes with a halfhearted joke. I lean against his should, and he traces patterns on my open palm. "I'm sorry, really, for everything that happened. I wish I could have been there for you. It's just, I wasn't very sure myself that you'd want to talk to a fifteen year old girl, since you're older and you know, cooler," I finish. "It's okay. But since we are just friends, it shouldn't be a problem for us to hang out. Should it?" He asks. "I want you to meet my brothers, much as I would love to exclude them, they would find out anyway, and then it would be a bigger problem than if they just got to know you. So, how about, you and Jamison come over for dinner tomorrow? Porter and I cook really well," I tell him, knocking my shoulder against his playfully. "You know what, I would love to do that. Jamie and I can't cook a thing to save our lives, this means a lot, Ro," Cris tells me softly. "Awesome, so come over about six thirty, dress casual, because our eating style is, as long as it's on the table, eat it," I tell him. "This feels so right, being here with you," I tell him quietly. "Yeah," he says back, almost in a whisper. We sit soaking up the sun and each other, feeling free from life, together and safe. "I got to get home, my brothers probably think I'm dead in a ditch somewhere," I laugh. "Alright, bye Ro, see you tomorrow." Cris says, giving me a bear hug. I return it as much as I can with my petite frame. I stride away to Jackie's bike, jumping on and riding away back to my house.
When I get home, I find not one, not two, but all off my brothers at home, screaming at me for skipping school.
"We thought you were dead!"
Not yet.
"Where were you?"
Out.
"Why'd you skip?"
Just cause.
"You do realize your answers tell us nothing, right?"
Yep.
"Hey, so by the way, I'm having a couple of friends come over for dinner tomorrow, so please behave yourselves.
And , I would rather not talk about what happened today, I promise I won't skip again, just kind of think of this as a much needed mental health day and leave it at that, okay?"
My brothers gape at me in shock before going at me again until Andy yells, telling them to stop.
He gives me an odd look, holding my gaze as I slowly back down the hall and into my room.
"I'll come talk to you in a bit, I got to call the school and tell them you're back." Andy tells me tiredly. I feel bad for making him worry, but I don't think I would have been able to handle school today.
About an hour later, Porter walks into my room. "Andy had to go to the office on an emergency, so you probably won't have to endure another lecture. Where did you go today, Ro?" Porter finishes quietly. I think I'm ready, ready to tell him about the party and all that happened. "Porter, remember when I snuck out to go to that party, last year?" I ask him cautiously. "Yeah, why?" He asks. "Well, at the party, I met this older guy, and he was nice, but then he wasn't so nice. He shoved me in a room and started to touch me and kiss me without my consent. The guy who handed out drinks, who was the first person I spoke to at the party, saved me from the guy. I hadn't visited the guy, Cris, since that night, but I went and saw him today. I don't know why I went to see him, but I did, and that's who I invited to dinner. He saved me from almost being raped. I don't know why I kept this from you, can you ever forgive me for keeping this from you?" I ask him. He looks really upset, not mad, but sad, almost. "Ro, I knew all about the guy who did that to you, he was my math tutor. He told his friends, who told me accidentally. I never asked you, because I was waiting to see if you would tell me yourself. I went through a lot last year, too. I guess, we both were going through something," he tells me. I, stunned. He knew but didn't tell me? Why? Now I feel guilty for not telling him. Wait, what did he go through?
"What happened to you last year?" I ask him. He takes a deep breathe and exhales slowly. "I've always known I was a little bit different from all the other guys, Ro. I think we booth knew. I met this guy, he was a junior. And I felt something I had never felt before with him. It was amazing and scary at the same time. I realized then that I didn't like him just as a friend. I like-liked him. Bad. But he didn't feel the same, and he found out. I spent the rest of the year being called horrible names by his friends on the football team, and sometimes, they still taunt me. No one else knows, and I haven't come out yet. You're the first person I've told officially. I'm gay, Rose." He finishes. I sit in silence, not knowing how to respond. How could I have been so blind? It makes so much sense. Finally, I start to speak. "Porter, I'm sorry I was so distant last year, we could have stood together when those guys were bullying you. I'm so selfish, porter. I could have been there for you, but that whole year, I was too hung up on myself. I'm sorry. But porter? I support you, always." I finish. Porter takes in a breathe, like he's gonna talk again, when my door bursts open, and my brothers, Josh and Blake walk in. "We heard everything. Everything." Says Josh. "How could you not have told us? Both of you? You didn't even tell each other. Why keep everything a secret?" Asks Blake. Porter looks down at his hands, wringing them ferociously. "I, was too ashamed of myself, and what had happened, to tell you guys. I mean, you're my brothers, why would I tell you things like that?" I ask them. "You can always tell us everything. We won't hurt you like other people would. What exactly happened at that party, Ro?"
I blush, embarrassed by what had happened. I take a deep breath and start to speak.
"Well, Tam and I went together, but when we got there, I lost track of her, so I went to the kitchen to get a drink. I met a guy named Cris, he was handing out drinks. We talked for a bit, and I went about my life, and ran into some wasted dude. We were just talking when some idiot spilled their drink on me. So this guy, told me he was taking me to the laundry room. But the room we went into wasn't a laundry room." I say. I hear Josh take in a breath of air. Tears are streaming down my face, but I forge on. "He started to kiss me, and he touched me. Everywhere. I was so scared. I asked him to stop, but he didn't listen. He had gotten my shirt off when Cris came and saved me. I finally found Tam, and Cris's younger brother, Jamison, drove us home. I never told anyone, until now. I'm sorry." I say, shrugging off the arm that Blake offered me. I need to hold myself up. I've done it for a while now, anyway.
"How could you have kept this from us?" Blake asks quietly. "I was so embarrassed that I had almost gotten hurt, I just, couldn't believe that you guys could ever forgive me for this."
"Not even me?" Asks Porter, hurt spilling from his voice. "I'm so sorry." I say, starting to sob mercilessly.
"And you, Porter, why didn't you tell us you were gay?" Josh asks. Porter swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. "I only just found out myself. But seriously, tell me you guys didn't see this coming? I mean, I've always been different. What makes me think you guys won't tease me like all the other kids?" He asks. "Because, we're your family, and no matter what happens in life, we stick together. No matter what, you feel me?" Blake suddenly says, passion fluttering in his eyes.
"I love you guys, seriously," I say, hugging each of them.
During my hug with Blake he says, "you know we have to tell Andy, right?"
Porter and I groan as Josh and Blake laugh, pulling us into a group hug.