Love the greatest poison

He doesn't want you

(AU where they are all their own person)

Logan:

I sit there in my room thinking to myself.
'He's better off without you'
Tears start to well up in my eyes
'You're better off dead'
I pull my knees up to my chest letting all these invasive thoughts take over
' he never loved you, you're unlovable. You never deserved him anyway. There's a good reason he left you'
As the thoughts got through my head my chest starts to feel heavy, and my heart begins to hollow as I cry my eyes begin to be heavy and I let sleep take over my body as I dream a wonderful dream one that isn't true but feels so very real
Morality:

'He's mad at you he was when you broke up with him....he was going to anyway you saved yourself a bigger heartbreak......hearing how much he doesn't love you'
As all these thoughts go through my head I can't help but to cry.
I can't live in a world without m- without Logan without the love of my life.
All I can do is survive....... 'so I might as well not be alive at all'
Without a second thought I go to my drawer taking out the blade inside along with the pills

(Ok at this point both their stories are going to be told so
Logic
Morality)

I wake up my head pounding my eyes still heavy I look at the time 1:30.
I can't seem to cry anymore even though it feels like I feel like I need to, the hollow feeling in my chest is unbearable......and I think something I haven't in a while ' I want to die'
I sit there looking at the closet they're in. I get up walking toward it, opening the doors 'so....is this how I go?'
I think as I take out the small box full of pictures, notes, trinkets.....that all remind me of Patten I dig to the bottom taking out the blade and the needle I took away from morality before he could do anything more. The blade still had blood on it. I get a flashback to when I found out what he had done.
We were cuddling just laying there I was fiddling with his cardigan. My hand starts to go to his chest, feeling up and down his chest starting to go lower and lower stopping at his abdomen and going up and all the way back down and then higher till his neck he seemed to stiffen when I got to his thigh. He moaned as I moved my hands to the inside of his thigh. This happened quickly but he straddled my hips rutted against me making me moan this time. He starts to pull my pants down and I start the same for him I got to about his knees before I even notice all the scars and some new cuts I pull away "morality?" He pulls back in his haze "wh-what...oh my gosh I'm so sorry did you not want this? I-" As he starts to pull up his pants very flushed "n-no that's not it morality" I say as I stop him from pulling his pants up. When he stops his eyes go wide as I touch one of his newest cuts "why would you..." as I trail off he starts "n-nothing don't worry" he says as he pulls his pants up again but this time I don't stop him "Patten these are not 'nothing' they are cuts on you that you-you did yourself" he looked down trying to blink the tears already streaming down his face out of his eyes.....and I was too..shocked about the cuts to do anything, it didn't make sense to me he always seemed so happy....but at the sam time it made perfect sense being where he came from and who raised him I mean being raised by the hate of others would be fairly hard I should know that's what helped me grow up as well but not as much as Patten. No not like pattens situation at all that is what pushed me, hate from others is what made him, and drive is what made me..... I can't believe I didn't think about this before, before I can think on my thoughts are interrupted "I- I'm not ready to talk about it yet Logan but when I am I'll tell you"

After that flashback was over I looked to my arm three deep slits on my left arm.....I hope I didn't make any noise is all I can think as my senses come back. I start to feel the pain reminding me that I'm still alive but it doesn't feel like I will be for long

I go to my drawer opening it seeing what I'm going to use one last time.
I take out the bottle of pills and head toward my personal bathroom. I set down the pills and blade on the counter quickly catching a glimpse of myself in my mirror as I'm turning toward my bath 'I'm a mess' is all I think then I remember one more thing I go to my drawer taking out a piece of paper and go to my desk sitting down getting my pencil as I write my final letter
' dear..whoever finds this as you probably don't know I've been having a pretty tough time recently and that doesn't mean I don't know that I was loved and cared for. I'm sorry for being so selfish and please know I know that I would've been helped, but I was just un-fixable. I can't go on with just surviving every day
I love you so much Virgil, Roman I love you both so much I hope you know that and I know you would have helped and you love me and I'm cared for, but I couldn't go on.
Now Logan, you were the love of my life and I'm sorry I couldn't be enough for you, I hope that you can be happy, I hope that you know just how much I love you. Please, live your life to the fullest.
Love, Patten
As I begin to bleed out here on the bathroom floor leaning against the wall crying. So many thoughts go through my mind, the way Patten smiled when he made a dad joke, the way that Virgils dimples showed when he smiled, the way Roman would sing every single song of Disney that came on. His mind was thinking of so many things but his mind went to one person in particular. He thought of the way his already near permanent smile would perk up when he had surprised him with a kiss, or when his head would tilt back and forth when he sang a small tune of his own, or of course he thought of the way he looked even more like an innocent child when he slept. All these thoughts slipping his mind as soon as he started really dying. He felt scared. He felt he was a victim of his own self destruction.
The light was getting dimmer
I could feel the light fading from my eyes
My very last thoughts
Were
Please be happy, for me? And no matter what.. don't give up