𝐒𝐔𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑 ─ Keith Powers

17. "Oblivion.."

'Wish I would go back I could go back to no one. Wish I would go back I could go back to nothing..'

Previously

916-906-2356 - can we talk?

Keith POV

I laid back on my couch as my mind started to go a million miles per hour. In my heart I feel like I'm making the biggest mistake, but in my mind I can't shake the feeling that someone is lying and someone is telling the truth. I stared at my phone contemplating if I could call her or even text her. I shook my head and just stare into the ceiling.

Laila POV

I looked at the unknown number. I know it wasn't Keith's cause I still know his number by heart even though I deleted it. I decided to call it. The person answered on the first ring. "Laila." Soon He said that I instantly knew who it was. "I'm bout to hang up." I said rolling my eyes. "Please, don't. I just want a couple minutes of your time. I know I'm the last person you want to talk to, but please. I'm begging. Please." I deeply sighed. I hope I'm doing a good thing. "Fine. Talk, you have 5 minutes." "Laila, I know I wasn't the man I was supposed to be but I want to change that now. I always thought of you because you're my daughter but like I said I wasn't in no condition to take care of any of y'all. I want to have a relationship with you, you don't have to call me dad or nothing. I just want to reconnect with you, only if you let me. I'll let you think about it." He hung up and I was speechless. I couldn't even think of anything to say. I looked down at Annalise as she was sleep on my chest.

She doesn't deserve this life right now. She was suppose to have both parents right now. I feel like a failure right now. I got up holding her and laying her in her crib. I put on some flats and went to the Dom's room. He looked at me. "You good?" I nodded. "Can you watch Anna for a few please?" "Of course, you know you ain't gotta ask. I got you." I nodded and walked out. I went to grab my old Michael Kors clutch bag and went to my car getting in and drove off.

When I arrive to it I just stared at it. Too many memories played a part here. McKinley Park was the place that Keith and I used to stay when things got bad at home and just wanted to run away. I plugged my phone to the Aux cord turn my stereo up to 25 since nobody is around and played Jhenè's new album for first time. I opened my clutch and grabbed a plastic baggie fill with weed. I haven't smoke in years, but right now I need. I started to roll up as the song 'Jukai' came on it was the song was speaking to me for a minute till I lit the blunt and started smoking it. I let the weed and smoke fill up my lungs. I got out my car and sat on the hood laying back on the windshield looking at the stars. I wonder if God can hear the cries of the broken hearted. I slowly exhaled the smoke as it flew into the air. Moments later this song called 'Sativa' came on I was feeling the vibe as I was feeling my mind slowly slipping into euphoria.

I looked up at the clouds and started drawing with the stars with my index finger. For once in long time my mind was at ease. Not thinking about Keith, my dad, or even Tisha. Then this song I believe was called 'New Balance' brought me to tears. I started crying out of nowhere. I hated to have the world on my shoulders while trying to do the right thing for myself and my family cause all of them look up to me, now that I have a daughter I gotta put her on top of my list and saving myself last on my list. Why does pain have to hurt so much? Why can it be like a paper cut? Yea, paper cuts hurt, but the pain it's only temporary not forever.

I looked up as the clouds rolled by the stars almost shined brightly in the sky then songs rolled by as my high slowly came down then 'Oblivion.' came on. Her voice and her words was putting my mind into a trance that I didn't want to leave out of it. I grabbed my bag and took a Xanax pill and closed my eyes.

'My life's a fucking trip
It makes me sick
I am so jaded and I hate it
I'm faking it
I try to find a greater shade
To be the way
To lead the way
I need to wait'

'Oblivion
Wish I would go back
I could go back to nothing
Oblivion
Wish I would go back
I could go back to no one

There's no lovin without losin'
There's no livin' without bruisin'
There's no limit, no delusion
Sweet oblivion
There's no lovin without losin'
There's no livin' without bruisin'
There's no limit, no delusion
Sweet oblivion'

'The world's a fucking mess
It's gone to shit
And I am every bit a part of it
I may have started it
I try to find a brighter side
An elevated, higher sight
It's out of sight, out of mind

Oblivion
Wish I would go back
I could go back to no one
Oblivion
Wish I would go back
I could go back to nothing

My life's a fucking trip
It makes me sick
I am so jaded and I hate it
So I stay faded
Try to find a greener shade
To be the way
To lead the way
I need to wait
I need to stay

Oblivion
Wish I would go back
I could go back to no one
Oblivion
Wish I would go back
I could go back to no one
Sweet oblivion'

Tears slowly fell down my face as I took a slow breathe.

..................................

I looked around my surrounding and realized I wasn't in my house. "Hello?" I said. I quickly got up. I looked out the window and didn't see my car. Where the fuck am I? Then I heard footsteps. "I see that you're awake." I turn my head and saw him.

Keith POV

I tried calling her, but she wasn't answering my calls. I even called her house and Dom told me he ain't seen her since last night. I just wanna talk to her and get something off my chest.

Luna here, sorry for the long ass wait I still got writer's block badly, but I try my best and hardest to update again.

Thank you I love yall!

- 😙😙