DWUARVE and SNOW are onstage, DWUARVE is pacing. There is a Knock at the door. DWUARVE opens the door, the QUEEN stands there in a terrible disguise.
"Good eve-"
The QUEEN clears her throat, continuing in a fake voice.
"Good evening."
"Hi... who are you and what are you doing on my doorstep?"
"Why I'm just an old lady, here to deliver these... special apples."
"Thanks, but I'm not hungry."
"But... will you let an old lady in from the cold?"
"It's 22 degrees (C) outside, and not a cloud in the sky."
"But... I could get sunburned."
"Fine."
DWUARVE stands aside and lets the QUEEN in. The QUEEN sets down apples on a table and looks at SNOW.
"So uh... what's your name dearie?"
"I'm SNOW WHITE"
(Knocking)
DWUARVE opens door, the PRINCE, the HUNTRESS, and MIROIRE are there wearing party hats.
"Hey everybody! Come in, come in! Everybody clamors and talks. DWUARVE quiets them down.
"Welcome all, to our annual "We hate the QUEEN party"
The QUEEN looks surprised..
"Wha-"
"Please enjoy our one and only refreshment, Pepsi! Brought to you by Pepsi."
"Is there anything to drink other than Pepsi?"
"No. Why would you need anything other than Pepsi?"
Everybody resumes talking. The QUEEN pulls DWUARVE to the side and tries to speak to him. He thinks quickly.
"Oh, is that my friend calling me?
"I don't hear anything-"
DWUARVE rushes offstage. The QUEEN sighs and goes up to SNOW, trying not to give herself away.
"Oh, what a pretty girl. You know, I'm just an old lady. I was left with nothing when my son in law chucked me in a nursing home. But please, accept what I do have left in the form of this apple."
The lights turn red. The QUEEN picks up an apple from table, offering it to SNOW.
"Well, I could hardly refuse."
SNOW takes apple and takes a bite. She sways for a bit, then collapses. Everyone freezes and looks in her direction. The QUEEN rips off her disguise.
"Ha! I did it! I killed her! That was easier than I thought it would be!"
The QUEEN yells at the HUNTRESS.
"You suck at killing people!"
The lights turn white once more. The PRINCE runs over to SNOW.
MIROIRE: "I'm afraid kissing her won't work, she's legit dead, sorry man."
The PRINCE falls onto SNOW s body, crying loudly. The QUEEN interrupts.
YOU ARE READING
Twisted Tales: The Great Snowstravaganza
Humor"Ladies and Not Ladies, a very warm welcome and Salutations to our show! We really hope you have a good time watching us take Snow White, and, well, ruin it. It is a tale of Jealousy, Revenge, Deceit, Manipulation, Romance, and Office Supplies." ___...
