"Of course your here right now," I stress when Grace addresses me again, craning my neck back and looking at the sky for a second or two.
She ignores the mumble and marches straight up to me and pints a finger near my face. I swat it away. "You like me, don't you?" What?
My face sours at her unethical assumption. But I stay quiet, my mind churning.
"What?"
"'What?' That's all you have to say? Do you really not understand?" One more decibel and I would be yelling. How does she not understand how in denial she is being? I can't even go for a run to clear my mind because this of Grace following behind. Didn't Ben talk to her? Didn't he tell her to leave me be when I want to be alone? I suppose not. Not to mention since that one night that she had to come with me, I haven't even been to see Gemma but once. I really want to tell her what's going on, she would know what to do if she was still here, she always did.
"I guess I don't because I have no idea what your talking about." The sass in her tone reminds me of an old friend. How is it did I find myself in this situation? The former morning I figured I would be in front of a tv playing Call of Duty Black Ops IV: ghost by now, maybe eating a small bag of popcorn if I felt it. Not standing on the side of the tarmac out side our apartment practically yelling at one another as a few pedestrians go by with annoyed looks.
"I don't like you." A bit of humor rises in my voice, "Ben asked me to stay off your ass, and I did. That day with the dude in the kitchen, was me defending you from getting trash talked behind your back about something vulgar. End of story." The last words ring out slowly into the thinning air. Grace takes a step back.
"I'm sorry, I guess I'm just one for thinking the wrong way and ruining things." Another dose of adrenaline kicks in at her loud tone filled with sarcasm.
"Yeah, you do. And now I know what Ben was always complaining about. You do things that you shouldn't, being nosy and won't stay away when someone needs space." I chuckle at my next thought and before I can control it, the thought slips from my mouth, "you know what, I bet you would what me to have a little crush on you, wouldn't you? That way you and I can go out, be a couple. Hold hands and all that shit... And then dump me once everything's good. That's what it is, isn't? You just want me wrapped around your little finger like every other guy you've laid eyes on." Fuck.
"That's what you think of me, isn't it? That I'm just some slut that goes around shagging with guys?"
Shagging? no. Leading them on, more so. Graces eyes fill to the brim with threatening tears. She looks like she's about to say something, shakes her head a little looking at the ground, then back up at me, "we'll I'm sorry you feel that way." And then she's gone.
+
I'm in a grey room. The walls, the floor, the places I can't see: grey. The ground is cold and smooth against my back as I lay on it, looking up. The only light is a far away hole in the roof, but it's enough to see my surroundings, which are not much, no windows. Nothing. Where the hell am I? I think to myself. When I try to move I can't. I try harder to get up but something, a force, is pressing me down harder against the flooring. I attempt to speak, to yell out, but no sound tracts, only hot air. Eventually, I give up.
Instead, I focus on the hole. It's so far away, but the light it contradicts falls unto me. I close my eyes and breathe. When I open them, something falls from the hole. It travels down through the air until it hits me in the chest. I look down to see a pebble, no bigger than an M&M. I don't understand. Not soon after, another pebble drops. Then another, and another and pretty soon small grey pebbles are piling up on my chest from the little hole in the ceiling. I attempt to thrash and move but nothing helps. I don't move and the piling pebbles don't cease.
The pressure on my chest is starting to get unbearable as I lay here in mass discombobulation. The collection grows larger and I can't breathe. The stack at this point is so large it reaches the hole, then all at once the stones fall atop me in my suffocation and my mind races.
I sit up suddenly and shoot open my eyes. I'm in my room, the darkness all too aphotic, I turn on my side lamp. Sweat soaks me as well as fallen tears as my face. I run my hands over my face, then wiping them on my boxer-shorts. My body falls back onto my stack of two pillows, a hand pressed to my brow breathing in deeply trying to lull my heartbeat. In out, in out. My breath is unsteady. I need some water.
Surprisingly, Ben is sitting at the counter, a glass of milk in his hand as he twirls it around. "Hey." Ben jumps at my voice slightly, obviously not expecting company.
"Hey." he replies lowly.
"Nightmare, how about you?" I turn on the tap filling my glass.
"Just... can't sleep." I turn to the clock: 4:28. I pull the stool next to him, sitting down.
"Grace likes you..," I don't think I hear him right, but the venom in his voice clears it up. "What?"
"You heard me." I shift uncomfortably.
"How do you know?" why do I care?
"'Cause she fucking told me, that's how." A deep breath, "then she said you yelled at her." I expect the look of death, but do not receive it.
"I don't blame 'ya. She gets on my nerves too. I haven't exactly called her out on it like that, though." I only nod.
"Your not like... angry or going to go all 'big brother' on me?"
"Hell no. I gotta sleep. See ya tomorrow." Ben pats my shoulder, puts his cup in the sink, and drifts off to his room letting out a strained yawn.
Minutes later, as if on a queue, Grace stumbles in-blonde hair swaying. I wasn't noticed until she turned around from the fridge with the jug of milk, just about jumping right out of her plaid pajama pants and white camisole. I look her up and down, my eyes lingering for a second or two on her bra-less breast-I may not like her, but I'm still a guy and she's still fit. Grace covers herself with her arms as best she can when I'm caught. Our eyes meet and I get up slowly and pour out my water.
"You don't have to go. I didn't mean to disturb you I just-"
"Couldn't sleep?" she nods slightly and sits the milk on the counter, "yeah, I know. I couldn't either. Go ahead, sit." The glass I was once drinking from is placed in the dish-washing-machine. Meanwhile, Grace renders her milk and sits down at the counter whilst I just lean against one parallel, my arms folded over my bare chest. It was quiet for a long time before we both said, "Listen, I'm sorry","Harry." at the exact same time. We laugh a little before Grace talks.
"Harry, I really- wait. Did you say you were sorry?" I look down shying away, a blush creeping up my cheeks. Thankfully it's pretty damn dark in here except for the street lights shining in through the window.
"Yeah." My voice is barely a whisper.
"Why, if you don't mind me asking." I love how she's so polite sometimes.
"I shouldn't have said those things. That was rude of me... And I didn't even mean half of them." The apologies rolls off my tongue and I almost mean most of them.
"You shouldn't have to say that you are sorry, Harry. I shouldn't have done some of the things I did... and I was rude to." She sips her milk out of awkward tension.
"So... where do we stand now?"
"Do you think we could be friends?" Grace sounds unsure yet hopeful. I remember what Ben said, about her liking me and my stomach gets kinda fluttery-like. I don't know what this feeling is, but i don't like it.
"Perhaps." I nod along with my word.
Short filler, I'm sorry. With exams and state testing about to go on, and projects and everything and I'm almost failing bc of a stupid teacher so I'm trying to get that back up to at least a B, it's just really stressful and it's hard to find time to write but I'm doing the best I can. PLEASE VOTE and/or COMMENT. also I appreciate when you correct me on grammar or punctuation, unlike most people I actually love being corrected on my work. Thank you and I love you all!!
