12:00am

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by astrid_isabel863

by astrid_isabel863

Why I am alive? Why I am still here? I ask myself every night.Whats the point of living?But what's new my night always end up like this.Me overthinking about my life.I cry myself to sleep.He's telling me quit.Im getting weaker by the day.Im at the point where he's taking over my mind.So like always I get my laptop and search up sad music/scary videos.After watching a couple of videos.He knocks the door.Ugh here we go ago it's like 12:50 by now.He's telling me to go to the bathroom and throw up my food/cut .Some how my mind is following his instructions like I was being control over.This when I realized he had taken over mind I was getting weaker I knew he would eventually take over my mind.But anyway,after throwing up.He's told me to get the my buddy(my blade)and slit my wrist.Just when I about to do.I hear a knock at the door.It was my brother telling if "I'm okay"?.I take a deep breath and tell him "I'm okay".I thank him in my mind.Because I would just have new scars like I don't have enough old ones.I take another another deep the breath open the door.My brother was confused why I'm still awake I didn't knew what to say so I told him why he's up ?and he didn't say nothing so I proceeded to go to my room.I was so dead inside waiting for someone to save me.I get my phone and all I see in social media is people being happy with their "friends" and boyfriend/girlfriend.But sometimes when I want to express myself on Snapchat then i remember how bitchy people are because i can't expressed my feelings without people telling me to stop being depressed.I fucking hate that shit,like how can I not be sad shit.
Quote:"stop being sad just smile ugh if I wanna be sad and listen to the Panic In The Disco all day I will ,but if your ugly which you are I'm not gonna say stop being ugly just be cute no I'm going to be sad and you be ugly.
-Twaimz
Anyways I end up going to sleep.Sadly I have to wake in like 7 hours for school*shrugs and drinks another glass of bleach.