Just a Game// Larry

SEVEN

I looked at the pile of board games in front of me. I loved playing with Harry, but...I don't think I really wanted to play at that moment. I was so afraid of losing to him. That's what it was. I had to win. I just had to, and if I knew I was going to lose then that only meant one thing. I would quit before I lost.

I woke up and felt warmth pressed against me. I sighed and looked down at Harry who was cuddling up to me. I loved the way he felt against me. It was one of those feelings you'd always remember, the way I remembered the entire day yesterday. It was perfect. I've always had the talent to remember everything I think is perfect. That's why I remember everything about Harry. The way his hair looks, his eyes, smile, little scars, his voice, everything he's said. He's perfect...perfect for me.

I gulped and looked down at him. Really? Is he really perfect for me? We're absolute best friends. He said so himself. Aren't best friends the best couples, too? Does he want to be with me? Do I want to be with him? I gently touched his hair. What if I play this game too long and I end up hurting him? Maybe this isn't the right situation to play a game. Of course it's not! This is love! I can't play around with that, especially Harry's heart.

I slowly got up without waking him and went into Mom's room. "Mommy?" I asked, entering.

"Hi sweetums," she greeted, lounging on her bed, watching TV.

"I'm confused, Mom," I said, sitting next to her.

"About what?"

"I don't know if I want to be in a relationship with Harry. I was so sure yesterday, but...I was hiding."

"Hiding?"

"Behind this stupid game we came up. I figured whatever happened I'd say it's just a game, but I can't do that. I don't know what to do."

"Well, you simply have to try."

"Try what?"

"Being in a relationship with him."

"But what if I don't like it? I'll end up hurting him. I'll break his heart."

"You will, but if it's meant to be then it'll happen. If not, then he'll eventually end up with the person he's suppose to be with and so will you. You're best friends. You can get over something like breaking up, like Ross and Rachel."

"But they got together in the end."

"And you might, but if not then you'll still be friends. Ha! See what I did there?"

I smiled. "Yes. Thanks, Mom." I kissed her head and headed back into my old room. I hopped onto the bed, waking Harry up. "Hi, love."

"Hi," he groaned drowsily. "What time is it?"

"Eleven."

He sighed and closed his eyes. "Wanna get some lunch?"

"Love to."

We got dressed, said bye to Mom, and drove back near our house to get some breakfast. We went to a little diner and ordered quickly, out stomachs empty. After, we finally made it back home. We jumped onto the couch and watched some TV, him cuddling with me. That's when I went for it. I had to do what Mom said. I had to try. Quitters never prosper.

I looked at him until he looked at me.

"What?" he asked.

"You like me don't you?" I asked.

"What?" he laughed. "Of course I like you."

"I mean you have a crush on me."

He blushed. "No, I told you I'd date you if you were gay, but...you know, you're not."

"That doesn't mean you can't help but feel a certain way."

He was beat red. "Fine. I feel that way, but I'm trying to get over that because I know you don't feel that way."

"Well, feelings change."

"Hopefully," he mumbled.

"Hopefully not." He looked at me confused, and then grew shocked as my lips were pressed against his. Just like at the concert. He slowly started to kiss me back. It was...perfect. Of course it was perfect. He's perfect. I wrapped my arms around him as we kissed more intently, out tongues exploring each other.

"Louis," he breathed, like he didn't believe it.

I nipped at his neck, giving him lovebites as our hands groped each other. It felt completely wonderful. Perfect. I pulled his shirt off and then mine, loving the feel of his skin. I held him, needing him.

This is what life is suppose to feel like. It is...

I don't know what came over me. Insecurity his me suddenly, and I let go of him like he was an infected rat. I stared at him, not sure of myself. I knew it would happen. I knew I'd get myself into something that would only hurt him. I didn't know what to think. I felt like I shouldn't be with him but then I felt like I should.

"Lou?" he asked.

"I-I'm sorry," I whispered. I ran to the kitchen, put on my shoes and grabbed my keys.

"Louis? Wait, what's wrong?" he asked.

"I just need some time to myself, Harry."

"So it's not real?"

I paused, my hand on the door. "It's just a game, Harry." Then I walked out, closing the door behind me.

---

I knocked on the door and waited patiently. I just needed someone to talk to, someone who would understand. The door opened and Zayn smiled at me. "Hey Lou." His smile vanished when he saw the stress written all over me. "Come on in."

I came in and sat on his couch. "I need help," I told him.

"You know I'm here to do all I can."

I told him everything, from how I felt about the kiss, to the game, to everything up until a few minutes ago when I completely broke his heart. I told him how I wanted to be with Harry but how I didn't want to at the same time.

"You're scared, man," Zayn said.

"Scared?"

"Yeah. When you know you've met the person that's meant for you, you always have second thoughts. It's scary to just jump into a relationship because you don't know where it's going to go. You know it'll be amazing, but you also know it'll be rough." He smiled. "I can picture your relationship right now, Lou. It's...beautiful."

I leaned back and closed my eyes. I pictured kissing Harry again, smiling at each other, holding hands as we walked down the street. I could picture it all. Throwing dinner parties with our friends, going public. When we were older and our days as a band were over we'd settle down...get married...adopt kids. I could picture the times we'd just lie in bed and do nothing. I could also picture the bad times, the fights, the restless nights. And yet - I could see us getting past it.

"Look Lou, quitters never prosper. There could be three minutes left in a game but you never see a player just quite right then and there. They go on. Defeat is a sure thing, but they keep going. Sometimes, they end up winning with a miracle. No one ever knows what's going to happen. It's up to you, Lou. It's your game. Are you gonna quit, or are you gonna try and win this thing?"

I smiled. "I'm not a quitter, Zayn."

He smiled, too. "Then what are you waiting for? Half time's over, bud. Get back out there."

"Thanks Zayn." I stood up, knowing what I was going to do.

There's only like three chapters left! (I have them written already)

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