Infiltration - Spencer Reid x Reader

Chapter Thirty-Two

In the car ride to D.C., Spencer spoke softly, mostly to himself. Every once in a while, he would look over at you dazed, and you would give him a reassuring glance or a loving caress. He was calm for the most part, until around 5 minutes remained in your trip. He began to groan, his face twisting in pain.

"(Y/N)...There was anti-psychotic medication in that syringe, wasn't there?"

You remained silent for a few seconds, not sure how to answer because you didn't want to scare him or set him off.

"(Y/N), please answer me." He pleaded.

"Yes. It was mixed with a sedative. How do you feel?"

"Anti-psychotic drugs administered to someone not experiencing the symptoms of psychosis or schizophrenia can actually trigger an episode, or the onset of schizophrenic symptoms." Spencer said in hushed tones.

"Spencer...I don't think it was enough. He was only able to depress part of the syringe, okay?" You kept an extremely level voice, trying to soothe him from the driver's seat. You were nervous too; You knew that what he was saying was true.

You pulled into the apartment complex parking lot and turned off the SUV, looking over at Spencer. He was sweating and his hands were shaking compulsively. You placed a hand on his cheek.

"Look at me. You are going to be okay."

Spencer looked at you with tears welling in his eyes.

"(Y/N), I'm scared."

"I know you are. I'm here with you, though. You aren't alone. We are going to go upstairs and lie down. We can watch Doctor Who...or Sherlock...or I can read to you..." Your nerves got the better of you as you rattled off all of the options that Spencer might find nice.

A tear slid down Spencer's face, and your heart threatened to shatter into a million pieces.

"Let's go, love." You said softly.

Spencer nodded, more tears threatening to spill.

Once inside the apartment, Spencer began to cry earnestly yet silently. You sat on the couch and held him, his head tucked down into the nook of your collar bone and chest.

You shhh'd and cooed him while rubbing his back.

"I — I need to tell you something." He mumbled into your shoulder.

"You can tell me anything, Spencer." You said reassuringly.

"My mom...She has schizophrenia. She has paranoid episodes, just-just like the unsub that Morgan shot. The one that hung you up. That hurt you. I can't bear to see my mom get worse. And...I'm terrified that I have schizophrenia too."

"Spencer—"

"Also... A few years ago, I was held hostage by an unsub that gave me Dilaudid. And...I was addicted for a while afterwards. But I - I'm clean. I've been clean. I just don't like taking pain killers. It reminds me of it. You don't have to stay. I understand if you want to leave."

Hearing Spencer's short, broken sentences filled your heart with renewed pain.

"I'm not going anywhere." You ran a hand through his hair. "All you need to do now is relax. Don't stress yourself, it's not a good idea right now. We can talk more about this later, all right?"

He nodded. You stroked his hair a few more times lovingly. His breathing evened out a bit after a few minutes and you walked with him to the bedroom. Spencer laid down and you went to retrieve a book and some water. You read one of your favorite Jane Austen novels to him in a sweet voice as he sipped on water, fading in and out of consciousness.