Loving Suicidal

Chapter 2: It's Just A Nightmare

The room was dark, making me feel anxious enough for it to hurt. I felt overwhelmed; scared. My legs were moving faster and faster, but the more I ran, the farther away I got. Finally, I stopped, turned, and let whatever it was take over.

I lazily opened my eyes. I had to think for a moment where I was. 

The twins house. We'd been watching a movie.

A dream. A nightmare.

It's just a nightmare.

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I walked beck inside the golden house, putting the burnt out cigarette bud under some tap water, wrapping a paper towel around it, and throwing it in the trash. I crept along the carpeted floor and over the twins in the living room, a soft sound of the movie we watched coming from the T.V. I shut it off, and crawled back under the blanket on the couch.

I brought my phone to life, the light shining in my eyes, and making me temporarily blind. I turned down the brightness, and looked at the time.

1:26 a.m.

I sighed, shutting off my phone. I'll be up just thinking for another 2 and a half hours. God it's so pathetic.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I wish I could tell someone, but I'm just a coward. Thinking that nothing will be the same. Because it won't. They'll think I'm insane and stupid. They'll leave me alone, turn their backs to me without a single goodbye. Not a single word. I'd be left all alone, and nobody would be able to help.

I heard the door click open. I shut my eyes, acting asleep.

"Ali, I know you're awake."

I open my eyes, looking up at a silhouette of Mr. Smith above me. He backed away from the couch as I sat up.

He let out a low chuckle. "Hot chocolate?"

I smiled. "I'm over here too much."

"Actually, you're up too late. You need a better sleep schedule." He told me as I followed him to the kitchen.

He pulled out two mugs from the cabinet. "So what's your excuse this time?" He asked me, filling the two mugs with hot water from the tap.

I put on a fake, broken smile. "School I guess. Don't really want the summer to end yet." I lied through my teeth.

He gave me a sad smile. "Last year of school will go fast. Trust me. Maybe even too fast."

I walked over to the counter, sitting on one of the yellow stools. Damn, Mrs. Smith really loved yellow. "That's not really what I'm worried about."

He looked up at me from the two mugs filled with hot water, and pulled out the hot chocolate powder. "Then what is it."

"I'm afraid of what happens after school to be completely honest. Like College. Leaving behind everyone. Mom, dad, the twins, Alyeah. What happens when I leave?"

He nodded, stirring the chocolate into the hot water. "Alyeah is a sweet girl. Know's her manners, just like her sister. I'm sure her sister is teaching them to her too. She really looks up to you."

I looked down at the golden marble countertop. "I don't think I'm the best role model for her."

"From what I see you are." He told me, throwing the empty chocolate powder packages away.

I shoot him my famous fake smile. "I guess."

"Cheer up." He handed me a steaming mug, sitting next to me. "She'll be okay. We'll take care of her. You're parents and us. I'm sure you two will talk as much as possible, you're really close after all."