Loving Suicidal

Chapter 3: The Rose

A hand waved in my face, signalling me to come back to reality. "Hello?" Hunter asks, stretching out the 'o.'

"Huh?" I ask confused. I think for a second, then it clicks. "Oh, sorry. Good for you." I tell him.

"Ha ha." He barks sarcastically. Then he holds out a plate of chocolate chip cookies that I didn't know he was holding. "I was asked to give these to you. I had to do it for the other neighbor too. I know it's backwards, but my mom said 'we need to be friendly.'" He mocks her voice. "Oh well, I still love her."

I roll my eyes. "Love. Ha." I say, not really paying attention to what I say.

"What?" He asks confused. 

"Nothing." I brush him off. "Thanks, but I don't take candy from strangers."

I hear thumping of little feet running towards me. "Sis!" Alyeah shouts. "I'm done with my drawing. Look!" She holds up a piece of paper.

For an eight year old, it's very good. The blossom itself looked like it was an easy outline, but it was better than I could've done. The leaves and stem were all green, drawn to perfection. The rose was outlined in a black crayon. The page was smudged with chocolate cake, but it gave it a special touch.

"Alyeah, this is so wonderful!" I exclaim, taking the picture from her tiny child hands.

"I learned how to draw it in art lar year." She replies with a smile. Then she looked over to Hunter still holding the cookies. She gasps. "Can I have one?!" She exclaims.

He chuckles. "Sure. Take them all." He hands her the whole plate.

She gasps again. "Thank you!" She says, and she runs back to the living room.

"Thanks." I say with a smile, still watching the little girl take a cookie and stuff it in her mouth. "It means a lot to me that she's happy." I finally look over to him. Then I had a thought. "Would you like to come in?" I ask

Okay, that wasn't the thought. I thought I could give him a picture of me, how I am, and he won't have any suspicions later. If I convince him that I'm a normal girl, then maybe he'll think that I'm a normal girl, instead of an insane, suicidal one.

"Sure." He smiles. I flash him a fake smile and step aside so he could come in. He walks in, his hands in his pockets and looks around, nodding in approval.

"Welcome to my humble A'bode." I bow to him like he was a king. "Please, make yourself at home." I say, walking back to the couch, and pat beside me to welcome him to sit. He obliges, taking a seat next to me.

"Is that Supernatural?" He asks, pointing to my computer.

I look at him and smile. "Yes it is."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm glad I got to babble on with you about the series. For two hours. In my home." I tell hunter while we stand outside. 

It's now 5 o'clock and Hunter's mom called him home. He replies with a nod as he walks away from my house. I smile back, a genuine smile, and wave goodbye. I wouldn't hang out with him a lot, but it was nice for him to talk about a single subject. Turns out we're both passionate about our shows.

I walk back in the house and into the living room, where Alyeah is asleep. After a slice of chocolate cake and a plate full of cookies, minus two for me and hunter, she had a sugar high, then crashed.

I haul her up in my arms, walking her up the stairs, and into her own bed so she can nap. I'll let her sleep for about an hour.

I walk into my room, and take out the vodka from my cabinet. I open the bottle and take a large swig, the burning sensation soothing my sober head. I lay down on the bed and sigh.

For another half hour, I'm taking drink after drink, shot after shot. The whole time I get more and more buzzed. I don't let myself get full on drunk, because I know mom will be home.

I hear the front door open, and someone call out for me and Alyeah. Speak of the devil.

I bounce up fast, putting the vodka bottle back in it's hiding place. Once it's back in it's respectful place, I bounce down the stairs. I plaster on a fake smile as I see her.

She wore a solid dark red flannel, and black slacks. Her makeup on her eyes was all naked colors, and she had dark red lipstick. She threw off her black heels and smiles at me. "Hi sweetie. Where's Alyeah?" She asks confused.

"Sleeping." I say, letting my smile drop. "I can wake her up if you want. She's only been asleep half an hour."

"No, let her sleep. It's not like we have anything to do tomorrow." She smiles.

I give her a hum in reply. "So how was work?"

Mom works at a bank. She's really good at her job too. One of the fastest employees there. The salary she gets is enough to 'put up with impatient people,' in her own words.

"Good. Good enough at least." She replies with a sigh. She drops her blue purse on the counter. "I heard there were new neighbors. Daniels I think."

"Yup. Their kid, Hunter, is a senior like me." I say. 

"Oh that's nice. Maybe he could give you tutoring for s discount?" She teases.

"Mom, no!" I exclaim, throwing my hands in the air and walking away.

The buzz I have is slowly fading away. Slowly.

I sit down at the couch and put an earbud in, continuing Supernatural.

I get to watch the last 10 minutes and I set the computer aside. The buzz I had isn't completely gone, but almost there. I walk into the kitchen and smile my fake smile to my mom, who is currently chopping some potatoes.

"Need any help?" I ask her.

She shoots her head up at the sound of my voice. "Yes. Can you get a pot of water going? I'm making twice baked potato mash tonight." She says, then goes back to chopping her potato.

I give a nod that she doesn't see, and I get out a big silver pot. I fill it with water and put it on the stove. 

"Can you chop the onion too?" She asks, almost begs.

Mom hates chopping onions. So I usually do it for her.

I get out another cutting board, a knife, and the onion from the pantry. I cut the ends off, and peel away the first skin, throwing them in the trash. I take the onion and cut into it. The first cut, and my eyes already watering.

I finish cutting the onion, and pull out a small pot. I put the onion in, with garlic and butter and put it all over a low simmer. I take the chopped potatoes and put them in the boiling pot of water. Mom finishes the last the last potato, and puts it in with the rest.

She wipes her hands on her pants, and sighs. "Now we wait."

All I'm doing is waiting. Waiting for it all to get better.