Day Dream At Night

Am I the Villain?

One of my most valued characteristics is honesty.

If I did something to upset you or offend you, tell me. If it was unintentional, I will apologize for it. If I no longer wish to be associated with you, I will tell you. If you are making bad decisions, I will inform you and to keep you on track. I would trust you would do the same for me. 

I want to start you guys off with a case study. This is of an event that actually happened, probably a few months back. Before I officially start, going back to my value of honesty, I promise that this kind of things have happened, and continue to happen to not just me. I'm going to try and be as unbiased as I can, and I will catch myself if I start to make this seem like I'm victimizing myself. 

I'll tell you two different stories, then, for the last one, I would like my readers to give me feedback. You guys can say anything you want to me, I am not a character in this book, or some blogger making up drama for the sake of reads. I am a person who is relaying all of this to you. 

I had a best friend, Elise. (Again, I'm using fake names for everyone in this "book.") Our parents were best friends, and no matter how many arguments Elise and I got into, we had always decided to make peace. We were bound to see each other due to our parents, and I believed it was easier to just be friends than avoid these people who were at my house almost every weekend.

Elise has a reputation that I do not particularly agree upon. No, she does not have sex with everyone, nor is she the prude or anything like that. I like to believe she is actually a good person when she is not around certain people. She is the one who will dirty dance at homecoming on a group of guys, who are notorious for playing girls, and then reject their advances throughout the week. 

Over the previous year, she had gotten involved with a guy she claimed she really liked and wanted to be with. For the sake of not using pronouns, I'll call this guy Chad. (It took me way too long to think of a name.) 

 Anyway, Chad was uncomfortable with letting their relationship be public knowledge. As a so-called "best friend," Chad and I had multiple conversations concerning Elise and how to make her happy, and I had already known him because we were in marching band together. I understood his hesitation to let people know. He was bit of an older guy, he had life going on. College, extracurricular activities, a family, schoolwork, and now this girl almost 4 years younger texting him constantly. They were strong for a while. Their secret didn't stay a secret long, but that was no ones fault. They weren't very subtle. 

I'm getting off topic. 

Anyway, after a few months, things started falling apart for them. I never got the full story, so I won't make something up for the sake of telling one, I only ever got bits and pieces. 

What I understood was happening was life. Pressure was bearing down on that relationship, and it broke. Chad was about to go to college, a state away, and there were other people around them changing their thoughts, feelings, and wants. 

Towards the end of their relationship, Elise had started lying to everyone in order to see this boy. She would skip practices, lie to her parents, and get friends to cover up for her in order to see him. It was no longer about feeding off of each other, it was about the sexual satisfaction they were gaining. I lost my support of the relationship, and Elise was aware of it, but continued on seeing him. I never stopped her, it was her life, but I did pick her up whenever she fell. 

I remember her coming to my house after some practice she had. (Chad and Elise were both in the county drama program.) She came into my room unexpectedly, dropped her stuff and started crying on my shoulder. I didn't say anything. I just let her sit in my bed, crying on me. I became fully against it after that. 

I believe it finally ended a few months after that, and I want to believe she grew and matured out of all of it. I will let you be the judge of that.

My next story involves how Elise helped me, and what I found out months after. 

Before Dawson, I was with a guy I'll refer to as Kyle. It was never 100% like we pretended to be, there were always tension of differences. 

We started off great, and met through something we both loved, and believed we loved each other. I did. After about four months of being together, the fights, arguments, and disagreements increased and eventually we couldn't have a conversation without fighting. Whenever one of us got upset, I would be the one apologizing. It was unintentional mental abuse, and I had gotten attached. There was the constant sword of breaking up hanging over our heads, and it was toxic and unhealthy. 

 We had been together for six months when he ended things, it took a lot out of me. I had invested myself in trying to fix all that I could, but it was beyond repair. I would skip classes to go cry, my friends had to pick me up off the ground and rebuild me again. Nearing the end and after, the one I would run to was Elise. I cried to her,  sobbed on her shoulder, and told her everything that was going on. I trusted her. Once I calmed down enough to reflect, I realized that I was better off, and Dawson was there for me. 

He was patient, and kind, and understanding, and amazing. He did all the right things Kyle didn't do, and became my best friend. 

Here is what I found out afterwards. 

A few days ago,  I was having a conversation with mutual friends of Elise and mine. We started reminiscing about when I was with Kyle, and it had been months, so I relayed to them the short and simple explanation.

"Neither of us were happy anymore, and it was becoming tense. The relationship become beyond repair and if we had stayed in it any longer we would be more hurt than we already were," I told these two girls. 

The first one nodded and replied, "That makes a lot more sense. Elise had told me that all you wanted was sex, Kyle didn't, and that is why he broke up with you."

At this I fumed. I didn't want to believe someone I trusted had said this to me, but a bit of asking around confirmed it. There was a multitude of people under this impression, all from the same person. 

I'm trying not to be too bias about all that happened, but since it is a primary account of a personal experience, please understand any bias. 

Now for the story I want my readers to analyze, and give me a third party opinion. This happened two and a half months ago, and I haven't talked to Elise since. 

It started when I was on a 4-day long college road trip with my mom. I had skipped two days of school, and drove 10 hours away on a Saturday to visit a college the following morning. After that college visit, we decided to drive 6 or 7 hours north, to have a spontaneous college visit. On this drive is when it all started.

I was on Snapchat, looking through all of my friends stories, as one does, and on my friend "Jane's" story, Elise had hacked her story and posted pictures of herself in only a bra. 

Elise is 15, and I was... I don't know, pissed? Disappointed? A little bit of everything? I turn to my mom, who, might I remind you, best friends with Elise's mom. I say, "This is the kind of people I have problems with."

I was pretty open with my mom back then, and I had told her all about what was going on with Elise. 

My mom's jaw drops, and she says, "Screenshot those and send them to me." 

Of course I was hesitant. Jane and Elise would both know that I was the one to screenshot the multiple pictures, but at this point, I was okay with it. 

Before opinions of how I am as a person, let me explain why I am totally fine with my decision, even now. 

I live not even an hour from THE biggest, international airport in the world. This equates to being one of the biggest human-trafficking hubs in the world. Elise is a 15 year old, who has no experience in self defense, no self-respect, and Jane has many random people from all over watching her Snapchat story everyday. 

I send these screenshots to my mom, and then she sends them to Elise's mom in return, explaining the whole ordeal. I have not spoken to Elise since, and frankly, I am better off. 

So tell me, am I the villain?