Day Four
As I open my eyes, I see a person right beside me on the bed of my room. It’s Cameron. He’s still wearing those clothes he wore yesterday. (Same as me, I’m still wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday.) He hasn’t left my side since yesterday. I don’t want him to ever leave me. I want him to be here with me, but I don’t want him to get heartbroken, too, when I go. I guess I have to do this no matter how hard it is. I guess I have to push him away now rather than never. It’ll break him if he knew that I’m dying sooner than expected. I have to do this. It’s for his own good.
As Cameron wakes up, he acknowledges my presence. He says, “Hey, beautiful.” I gotta admit that I’m gonna miss that. I’m gonna miss all those sweet words. I’m gonna miss seeing his face. I’m gonna miss everything about him. I just gonna miss him, period. I don’t wanna lose him, but I have to do this. I have to even though I really don’t wanna hurt him.
“Hey,” I say with a smile and sigh.
“What’s the matter?” he asks. He sits up straight and turns to me to see my face in full view. “Are you okay?”
“Yes.” No. No, I’m not. “It’s just… nothing.” It’s something. I swear to God that it’s something. I need to tell you something.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” No, actually, I’m not.
“You know you can tell me anything, right?”
“Fine, something is bothering me.” I get out of bed and stand right in front of him. “Look, I think it’s better if you just leave me alone. I need you to go. I’m sorry.” I can feel the pain as I said those words.
He chuckles and shakes his head. “What?”
“I swear to God I’m serious, Cameron John.” I march to the door, turn the knob, and open it for Cameron. “Get out. Please. I need you out of here.”
He marches up to where I am. He grabs my shoulders and hugs me. I wanna cry so badly. I wanna hug him back, too. I don’t want him to leave, but I have to do this. I have to push him away.
I clear my throat and take his hands off of me. “Get out. Please.”
He looks at me straight in the eyes and say, “Why?” Because I won’t be able to handle it if I knew that I’ve broken your heart if I go.
“I just don’t love you anymore, okay?” Not true. I love with you with all my heart, but still, I need to do this. “Now, please get out of my room.”
“I don’t believe you,” he says. Yeah, I don’t believe me either. Well, that makes the two of us then.
“Just get out of my room!” This time I push him out of my room. As soon as he got out of my room, I shut the door right in front of him and lock it.
Well, that was the hardest thing I ever did in my whole life. I still can’t believe I did that. Oh, God. It hurts so much. It hurts like hell. I had to do it. I don’t wanna hurt him, but I think I just did.
It’s for his own good, Alexandra, I thought to myself.
I look out the window. I see Cameron walking. Wait, he’s stopping. He stops right in front of my house and faces my house. He shouts, “I LOVE YOU, ALEXANDRA TAYLOR CHASE!” I feel tears come out of my eyes. I can’t believe I pushed away the only man I have and always will love. I swear that it hurts like hell. I can’t take it. It’s like being stabbed in the chest one hundred times, but you still survive and experience the damn pain.
I cry and sob. I have never cried so much in my entire life. I close the curtain of my window, and then the break down begins. I have never felt like this in my entire life. I just wanna break everything I see right now. I wanna die. I don’t wanna live anymore. I sit down on the bed and cry some more. I can’t stop crying. It’s like the tears are just automatically coming out of my eyes, and I can’t do anything about it.
This is the worst feeling ever. I just wish I can die right now. Death would be so much better than this. I swear it will be.
I want to just kill myself now. I can’t live without him. (No, I am not overreacting.) Losing him feels like dying inside. It feels like my soul is being taken away from my body, but still, I’m alive (though I wanna be dead).
I think my parents heard my emotional break down because now, they’re right outside my door.
“Honey, are you okay?” Mom says.
I don’t answer. I’m too depressed.
Mom says to Dad, “Get the key, Robert. I need to check up on my daughter.”
Two minutes later, my mom and dad enter my room. Mom comforts me while Dad says, “Want me to kill that guy?”
I sob more. “No, I love him, Dad,” I manage to say between all the sobbing and crying.
“Did he break your heart?”
“No, but I think I broke his.” I cry more and more. Mom hugs me as I bury my face into Mom’s shoulder and cry. I’m getting her favorite shirt wet.
“Oh, God. Why?” Mom says.
“He doesn’t have to experience what I’m experiencing right now, Mom. He doesn’t need to know that I’m dying sooner than what he expected. I don’t want him to cry over me when I die,” I say while my face is still buried on Mom’s shoulder.
“He’s lucky to have you,” Dad says. I can’t believe he understood what I said.
I break free from Mom’s hug and look at Dad. I say, “But he doesn’t have me anymore Dad.”
“But he still loves you.” And I love him, too. I do. So much. I didn’t want to let him go, but I had to.
“I love him, too.” I say. I sob some more again. I just can’t stop crying and sobbing, but then I try to stop, so I can ask Mom, “Mom, might or will?”
Mom looks at me. She feels sorry for me. She knows that the answer is will. She says with a trembling voice, “I’m sorry, honey..., will.”
That just actually gave me the reason to cry more. I can’t believe this. I’m crying like there’s no tomorrow. Wow, I’m proud of myself, but I really feel sorry for myself, too. I’m dying in, like, two days.
I respond by just saying, “Oh, okay.” Then I pause. I can’t catch my breath. I’m crying like crazy right now. To be honest, it’s unbelievable.
I say to my mom again as she hugs me to her chest again, “Why is it a pain to have me for a daughter, Mom?” Wow, two heartbreaking questions in five minutes. Way to go break your mom’s heart, Dummie, I think.
I hear Mom sob some more. “I’m so sorry, Alex. I didn’t mean for you to hear that. I’m a bad mother,” she blurts out as she cries.
I say in a barely audible way, “No, you’re not, Mom. I’m a bad daughter. I shouldn’t have asked that.”
“It’s because you’re dying. I didn’t want a daughter if I’m gonna lose her anyway. I want you to be by my side always. It just hurts so much to lose a daughter like you. I love you, honey. Don’t ever think otherwise.”
Well, that broke my heart. I guess it broke Mom’s, too. “I love you, too, Mom,” I manage to say between all the sobbing and crying. “So much.”
Well, I can’t believe I’m having my first heartbreak and breaking a boy’s heart for the first time ever. I guess I have to check something out on my list again.
1. Break a heart. (done)
2. Cry. (done)
3. Go on a picnic. (done)
4. Go to prom.
5. Get a first dance.
6. Kiss a guy.
7. Fall in love. (done)
YOU ARE READING
Seven Days
Teen FictionCameron wipes away my tears as he says with a soft smile, “I bet the angels are singing right now.” I smirk and say, “Why?” “Because another one of God’s angels is coming back home,” he responds with that soft smile still on his face as another tear...
