The Bird With One Wing // Klance

chapter twelve • how do you feel?

Daddy never answered back. Many days past, thanksgiving was almost here. I soon began to give up on expecting a reply. I was never angry at him or anything, he must be dealing with his own issues and living his own life. Thanksgiving was the holiday my family looked up to. That meant food, lots and lots of food to savor our hungry tummies. Tired of eating the same stuff, now we're getting the chance to eat real American dinner with the guide of Ms. Hendrick, an African American chef who lived right next door.

My siblings started noticing how weird i've been acting lately. I have been walking with my brothers around the mall today. All except Jasal, who already had a girlfriend, gawked at some wenches who passed by. Eru punched my arm and I rubbed it in pain.

"Ow. What'd you do that for, Eru?"

"You're missing it!" He squeaked, tugging on my arm. "That sexy girl over there, do you see? Her skirt, body shape-"

"Ah... give them some respect, Eru" I rolled my eyes and pulled my arm away, rubbing my pink wrist. He stared at me weirdly and crossed his arm, glancing at Li and back to me. "What is wrong with you? You're never interested in love."

"What makes you say that?" I defended myself.

The three of them shrugged and continued to walk; I followed alongside my brothers. It was clear that they were slowly catching on with the truth. This only inflicted more fear within me. They wouldn't understand... Eru asked what was wrong with me. That was just indirect proof that he wouldn't approve of me being gay. And my family is the people who unconditionally loved me, right? I loved them too...

I listened to my footsteps click against the floor from my the heels of my shoes as I walked down the mall with my brothers. I began to worry about the future that was yet to come. Trouble awaits me... they will find out and I didn't have to even tell them myself that I was a homosexual. I wanted to change myself and try to like women the way they did but I didn't find anything interesting about them. They were small, not bigger or had no muscles. I want to feel safe under someone's arms, not be the person who does that job in the relationship. Trying to like a girl didn't seem to work out for me.

--

Later that night, I chose to go visit Lance again. It's been awhile since we've had a conversation. After that one night I slept besides him, I kind of just snuck out, afraid of what he'd say when he wakes up. I wrote him a note on his desk, telling him thanks for the stay. We'd see each other in class and in the hallways once in awhile but it'd only be a few waves and glances. He had many friends to keep up with, I was only the quiet kid who sat alone.

When I knocked on his door, Lance opened it, his smiling face grew volatile. "Keith..."

"Lance" I said his name as he said mine. His hands were sweaty and his cheeks were rosy red. "I've missed you."

"Go home, Keith..." he repulsed, arms crossed and with an emotion that made me feel that he didn't want me here.

"Why?" I frowned and my heart broke a little. But I wanted to see him again, this isn't fair. I came all this way! Was it because he Anderson told him that I slept in the bed with him and he thought it was revolting? Oh dear god I hope not.

"I'm just joking, Keith" he sniggered. "Come on, let's go" and with that, he ruffled my hair, making it messy, and I watched him to to the car with the car keys that jingled around on his index finger. I took a short moment to admire the way he walked before following along behind him.

This wasn't a date, though I wished it was one. Lance said he was going to show me places around Florida that I never had the chance to visit. Places like the beach, which I saw but never dug my feet in the sand. And places like the desegregated areas to avoid trouble.