MY ARTBOOK (2) [COMPLETED]

Dont read if you dont wanna read what happened to my drawings

Sooooo I have a lot more drawings I don't post due to, to much graphic (gore) to VERY sloppy and no effort put in.
It's a problem that's been happening for a while, maybe over a year.
Whether I'm alone in a room or not every time I draw it feels like some is right next to me or over me just waiting and with that I feel rushed and sometimes very rushed to get my drawings done. It's like as if you your having a race against someone and you have to get it done before something terrible happens to you.
I've tried music once to draw but it didn't try to change the feeling that's why I always reply with an "Eh"
And now I just realized my sister's birthday is tomorrow and I have NOTHING for her. She always expects me to get her something but I never really did(?) except for the part to go shopping with my mom and buy her toys she'll like until she grows out of them or something.
So now she asks if I should draw her something for her birthday. Since it is now more adding.
If you don't notice when I line over in sharpie that some of the lines are curvy or not "in line" because I get nervous and always scared to mess up.
I dunno why I'm talking about this but I always have to let what's going on with me somewhere.
:"v now where's the container of bleach, I need to have some with my zebra corn to watch Fangirl cringe to make me feel better (maybe-)