one-shots [klaine]

I've Lied For So Long

I'm gonna try something new here in two ways. Please 🐻 with me (and possibly tell me if I write well in first person?)

>.<

Kurt POV

You see, the thing... The thing is that I've been lying for so, so long. Not only to the people around me, but also to myself.

Oh, who am I kidding? Especially to myself. The lies pour out of me but they sound so real, so sure. Nobody would second-guess anything I say concerning the matter because practice does make perfect.

"When you call me Lady, that's bullying."

Not even Blaine would ever really suspect. And that's what scares me the most.

"Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I like to dress up as a woman."

Lies.

All of them, lies.

I know how most people would react if I'd tell them. My dad would be scared for me, considering all I've been through. Rachel would probably be happy for me, but freaking out on the inside because I am that, a freak. Santana would mock me even in her grave.

But I really don't know what Blaine would say.

So I ask him.

Not on the day I actually decide to do it, of course. I haven't been this scared in a long time, cut me some slack.

It takes me four more days to actually speak my mind.

"You've had to come out to people before, right?" I start off, interrupting the nice silence we had while cuddling on his bed at home.

"Of course." He doesn't ask why, but waits for me to continue. Always the gentleman.

"So you know how hard it can be."

"Yeah," he traces circles on my arm and it feels so nice, so caring.

I flip over so I'm lying on top of him with our stomachs touching, and then roll to the side so he can breathe. "Has anyone ever come out to you?"

"The day we met-"

"That doesn't count," I interrupt.

"Then no."

"What would you say if someone were to come out to you?"

"I'd be supportive, tell them to be strong, say I'll always be there for them."

"What if it was your boyfriend?" I whisper brokenly, confidence already gone.

"Kurt?" he asks, confused. "Are you bi? Because I'm fine with that."

I shake my head, can feel the tears already forming. I'm being betrayed by my emotions and it is not fun.

"Are you... straight?" I quickly shake my head again. I don't want him ever thinking I don't love him to the Andromeda Galaxy and back.

"Kurt, you can tell me anything. You know that, right?"

I sit up on the bed and hug my knees. "Halloween..." I whisper.

He obviously doesn't get it, "What?"

"Snooki. The outfit was atrocious but. I-I felt so comfortable, like-like I wasn't hiding anymore."

"Kurt," Blaine gasps and I break, letting the tears wash over me.

"This-this is the part where you break up with me."

"Why would I do that?" he asks, genuine concern on his face.

"Because I'm a freak... And because you're gay." He leans in to catch me in an embrace and holds on to me tightly.

"You're not a freak, Kurt," he shakes his head. "And let me tell you something about love, something that's true for me at least. I get attracted to someone because they have certain attributes females don't, yes, but I fall in love with someone for who they are. I don't care what you look like or what you identify as or what you want to be called. I love you."

He stops for a second. "I just called you Kurt, didn't I? God, I'm sorry."

"D-don't be. But thank you."

"Have you thought of a name yet...?" I tell him I haven't. I have three swirling around in my head but I can't decide. "Then I'll just call you Love for now."

"How are you so understanding? You should be disgusted."

"No, Love. I don't really understand but I'm not disgusted. If this is what you want then I'll help you as best I can. Be strong. I'll always be here for you."

"You weren't lying."

"I wasn't. I'm not."

"But I was."

"Ssh, calm. It's alright. I'd be scared if I were you too." He loosens his grip a little as he realises how tightly he was actually holding on to me. "When are you planning on telling your friends? Your teachers? Burt?"

"Too much pressure right now. I told you first."

"Oh, Love. I love you so much. I hope you know that."

"I do," I say. How was I so lucky to find this amazing man? He hasn't asked about anything too explicit and that's another thing I love about him - out of the many, many things.

"Get some sleep, it's getting dark."

"'S cold," I say, hoping that I can use my human furnace.

Blaine smiles and waits for me to lay down, spooning me from behind and throwing the blanket over us. He turns off the lamp and I seem to turn off with it, the sense of belonging adding to the warmth that Blaine always provides, and Blaine himself lulling me to sleep with his distinctive scent and strong arms wrapped around me...