DAY 88 {a kaisoo fanfic}

Chapter 6

The thing he had feared the most to happen for his entire life had happened. He had become a murderer, just like his father. Maybe not a stone-cold killer, but a killer nonetheless. With his own hands, he had killed a human being, his friend. His friend was dead and it was entirely his fault. The death had left a pressure on his chest that the death of the officer hadn't. Not because he didn't care for the life of that man, but watching someone die left a feeling that was nothing in comparison to this. He felt as if he couldn't breathe, there was a stone weighing down his heart so heavy that he thought it'd be ripped out of his chest any second. Honestly, he wouldn't mind if it did. He wouldn't mind dying right here and right now. But he didn't deserve to die, as much as he wanted to he knew that he had to live in pain to pay for his sins. He deserved the punishment of living. What he had done was unimaginable, ungodly. He had to live in misery now and once he left this life he would rot in the deepest pits of hell. Because he hadn't simply killed his friend, he butchered him.

"Please, please don't do this!" the helpless boy in front of him begged. The leather handle felt warm in his clammy hands, the steel of the blade was as ice in comparison. "Please Kyung, I know you're not a killer, you know it too. It's not too late to stop now, I won't report you, I'll help you Kyung, I'll help you fight this." He looked so innocent with his chocolate curls and his warm brown eyes. It broke Kyungsoo's heart. "I'm so sorry Chennie..."He whispered, "I can't stop. Believe me, it's better this way. I have to k-" He couldn't bring himself to say that word, much less actually do it. But he had to and if he'd do it he had to say it. "I have to kill you," he said as he shoved the blade into the boys' abdomen.

One. His face distorted from pain.

Two. He pulled out the blade and stabbed his friend again.

Three. The blood that was seeping out of the wounds covered Kungsoo's hands.

Four. The boy choked as blood seeped over his thin lips.

Five. He crumpled to the ground.

Six. The only sounds in the room were soft and miserable moans.

Seven. The only sound in the room was of blood seeping out of the wounded body to the ground.

Eight. The only sound in the room was Kyungsoo's heartbeat banging against his ribcage with unimaginable force.

Nine. The level of adrenaline in Kyungsoo's body was so high he felt like he was going to explode.

Ten. The boy was dead.

Eleven. Even though his friend was now a corpse lying at his feet, he went on.

Twelve. Tears mixed with blood.

Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty. Twenty-one.

Kai was there. He took him into his strong arms and stroked his hair. "Shhh... It's okay, I'm here now, I'm right here. It's okay, I'm proud of you." He comforted the crying boy. Kai was comforting him, and Kyungsoo let him.

***

Kyungsoo couldn't stop crying. For hours, even days he cried. He couldn't eat nor sleep. He felt empty inside, but he didn't feel alone. During the days that he lived in utter misery, Kai was always there. He had moved the poor boy to a different room, this room has a bed and a sink with clean running water. It even was a comfortable temperature.

He stayed for hours while Kyungsoo lay in his arms staring into nothingness, not accepting nor rejecting the comfort given to him. He wasn't angry at Kai because he didn't force him. Kai didn't force him to do that horrible deed; he simply gave him a choice. Though he was hurting now he still knew that he did the right thing, but now he had to pay for his sins. The death of his friend had been painful, for both of them, but it was not as painful as it would have been had he refused to do it himself. This meant he wasn't mad at Kai. He had already known Kai was a monster from the very first time they had met and it couldn't be fixed. As much as he wished it, as much as he hoped, as much as he wanted it to be possible, he now knew that it was impossible. He had an incurable, terminal illness. It was as terminal for the ones around him as it was for himself. Kyungsoo knew that one day the monster inside of Kai would consume everything that was still left of his humanity, which mind you, wasn't a whole lot. Still, he had expected Kai to be triumphant about his accomplishment. He had expected him to be proud of the fact that he had awakened the monster that had been living, hiding for so long inside of Kyungsoo's heart. The monster that he had tried so hard to suppress. Instead, the killer comforted him. He just held the broken boy. Minutes, hours, days passed like that.