goodbyes // bill denbrough

o n e

"did you do everything i asked?" my mother questioned. her eyebrows raised, squinting at me while she spoke.

i nodded my head slowly, keeping my lips sealed, like she always told me to. watching her fingers gently lay upon the handle of the cabinet door.

her eyes scanned the room. observing the cleaning i had previously done. it took me three hours. my arms ached, but it didn't stop me from finishing the job.

i stood there, my hands held together, infront of my body. waiting for her to tell me how well i did. holding back my smile as i fiddled with my intertwined fingers.

her eyes met mine. here it comes. i forced the muscles of my cheeks down, she can't know i'm excited.

"well you've don't a fucking shit job." she spat. the thought of smiling dropping from my mind as she slammed the cabinet door shut.

i jumped back, frightened by the loud noise, feeling my heart beat faster, and my ears begin to ring.

"you can't do anything right can you?" she yelled, i winced at her tone, hoping it would help decrease the volume. which sadly it did not.

she treats me like this because she loves me. and wants me to be the best person i can be.

"i'm sorry." i speak softly, hoping my gentle words will calm my mother, at least in the slightest. she was known to lose her temper. especially over little things.

"that's all you have to say? you're sorry?" my mother questioned. her eyes narrowing. she began walking closer to me. her frame much larger than my own.

my body went cold. i tried following her steps. when she took a step towards me, i would take a step away. hearing my beat up converse squeak against the floor.

i closed my eyes shut. i couldn't look into her eyes anymore. they were too dark. i felt like she was going to turn into a monster or something.

i felt my back hit the wooden panelled wall of the kitchen harshly, hearing the glasses in the cabinet across the room shake softly. my heart dropped to my stomach, knowing i couldn't escape her now.

"you're the reason your father left us. you can't do anything right." she sneered, as i opened my eyes. her face was centimetres away from mine.

it's just constructive criticism. she's showing me how i can be better.

"now leave." she demanded, pointing her finger. my eyes trailed past her arm and to the door.

i nodded and swallowed hard, cringing at the feeling. before slipping my body away from the wall, getting closer to the door with every step.

my slim fingers grabbing a hold of the strap of my backpack. i threw it over my shoulder with a slump before leaving the house, the door creaking loudly on the way out.

i let out a deep breath, before smoothing out my denim skirt. a group of boys zooming by on their bikes, only hearing the sound of the rubber tires against the pavement for a couple moments.

from what i could make out there were four of them, but that's all i could see before they were gone down the street.

my fingers grasped onto the straps of my bag while i walked down the stairs, my hair bouncing softly with each step.