Torn Up Love

Chapter Nine

Isaac stared down at me, a smile on his face. It wasn't his usual cheeky grin or his crooked smirk, it was just a smile.

"Zac... you can't ruin someone's life like that!" I stared at him, "She could ruin yours too if she finds out what you did"

"If? Oh, she'll know it was me" His eyebrows pulled together, "You're worried I'm ruining her life... after she just-"

"Okay, okay. You don't need to remind me" Even her name tugged at my heart strings.

"Hey, head up bud" He nudged me.

"Head up? Seriously?"

"Sorry, I don't know how to help in this situation"

"I don't think you can"

"But I want too"

"How did you deal with your heart break?"

"I got on with it"

"THAT DOESN'T HELP ME, ZAC!" I glared at him.

"Okay, did he have a small pen-"

"Don't even ask me that"

"But was mine bigger?"

I turned to him, "You're not having a measuring competition right now when I'm in this state!" I saw the sincere look in his eyes and although it wasn't helping, I could see he was trying different ways.

Trying to cheer me up.

I felt bad for shouting at him, for taking my anger out. I tried to make myself feel bad about ruining Barbara's career when inside I was dancing with delight. She deserved it and everything else coming to her.

"Yours was bigger" I sighed.

"That's my Hollie"

"Don't call me your Holl-" Everything. Every god damn thing reminded me of that dumb motherfricking fudge face Max. Every time I responded to Zac by pushing him off, it was always because of Max.

The opposite.

If I did the opposite would it cheer me up?

I got up on my knees on the couch and leaned over to him, "Kiss me"

His brow furrowed and right when I attempted to plant my lips on his, his hand covered his mouth just in time. I glared at him, rejection hurt even more.

He pushed me away at arms length, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Kissing you. Please, Zac" I whined, trying to go near him. I noticed a pained expression on his face and realized I was making him uncomfortable. I stopped and made my body go limp, tears beginning to fall down my face again.

"Hey, Hollie. Don't cry, it's not that I'm not-"

"It's not you. I'm not crying because of you" I wiped my eyes furiously, embarrassed. Why was I so upset over Max? He hurt me! And I missed him. Why?!

He stared down at me and I noticed the look he gave me. How sorry he felt for me, and it only made me feel worse, "why didn't you want to kiss me...?"

"Because you think it's a way of coping. Whether it's to get back at Max or whatever re-"

"No, I didn't mean to use you"

"No, Hollie. I mean it's not healthy, it'll only make you feel worse. Believe me, I know. It won't help in any way whatsoever"

"But I can't get him off my mind, Zac"

He stared at me, words caught up in his throat. He didn't know where to go from here, he didn't know what to say next and it was fine. He didn't need too, he was trying his best.