Love and Other Drugstories

Part 1

"Condom. Dalawang box."

I dropped by in this  newly-opened drugstore in the neighborhood to purchase something...uhm,  essential to men with raging testosterone. I told the male pharmacy  assistant what I wanted to buy with swag, as if buying condoms is just a  usual thing for me. Like buying cold medicine. Or ordering coffee.

"Anong flavor, Boss?"

I am about to answer him when a beautiful and sexy lady, wait...no...a goddess...came in to call the guy's attention.

"Ken, pwedeng patulong pabuhat ng mga new deliveries. Pakidala sa stockroom. Ako na muna bahala dito".

I can't help but stare at the goddess in front of me. I wonder what it feels like when she's in front of me doing stuff. Hmm...

"Good morning, Sir. Ano pong kailangan nila?"

Damn those red, luscious lips. Yes, I need your help, Miss. I can't breathe....can you please help me unzip my pants?

"Ahm, Sir? Naririnig nyo po ba ko? Ano po uli ang kailangan nila?"

Or ano bang mabisang gamot sa sakit ng ulo? Kasi dumating ka lang, sumakit bigla ulo ko. Saka gamot sa inaapoy ng lagnat. Kasi nakita lang kita, nag-init bigla katawan ko. Saka gamot sa...

"Condom ang binibili ni Sir kanina, Mam! Dalawang box daw!"

Shit. Oo nga pala, yung condom. What happened to your swag Richard Faulkerson, Jr?! Where did it effin' go?!

"Ah ok, thanks Ken. May preferred po ba kayong flavor or variant, Sir? Or size? May mga available brands po kami with sizes."

Kingina. Ano nga bang  flavor pinapabili ni Jerald? Saka malay ko ba kung anong size nya.  Shit, baka isipin ni Ms. Sex Goddess manyakis ako. Umagang-umaga condom  binibili ko, di man lang kape. Bakit kasi pumayag ako sa Napoles na to.  Sana sinabi ko na lang na di ko nabasa ang text nya. Pero kung di ako  napadaan dito, malamang di ko makikita si Ms. Sex Goddess...

"Sir? Flavor and size po?"

Ha?! Ano daw? Flavor and size? Ahhh, oo nga pala. Breathe, Faulkerson. Your swag, don't forget. Impress this goddess.

"Café Americano. Tall. Yung hot."

"What?! Sorry, come again?!"

Tangina! COME AGAIN daw! Bilis naman eh eye to eye contact pa nga lang ginagawa namin paano pa kaya kung...

Oh wait. Shit. Anong  Café Americano?! Ang tanga mo Faulkerson! Swag mo mukha mo! May impress,  impress ka pang nalalaman eh mukha namang nadedepress na si Ms. Goddess  dahil sa mga kalokohan mo. Umayos ka!

"Ay Miss, sorry.  Pasensya na puyat kasi, kakauwi ko lang from work. Ahhh... Actually, di  naman kasi talaga sa akin to. Pinabili lang ng housemate ko. Ahhh...  ehhhh... strawberry. Oo, yun naalala ko na. Strawberry flavor. Pero yung  size nya di ko alam eh. Di ko talaga alam. Because...we don't compare  notes? Literally and figuratively.  I mean, di ko alam kung kasinglaki  din sya ng sa kin kasi di ko pa naman nakikita saka...."

"Ahm, pwede ko bang makita?"

"Ha...? Gusto mong makita... si Junjun?"

I gulped. Hard. Real hard.

She laughed. She's like a human music box. Her laughter is like music to my ears, soothing my soul, hurting my loins..

"What I mean to say is, I  want to see your friend's text to know if talagang hindi para sa yo  yung condom. Pero joke ko lang yun.  Mukhang tense na tense ka kasi eh.  Para marelax ka konti. Saka sino pala si Junjun? Yung friend mo?"

"Ahhh... ehhh... yes. Friend ko.... si Junjun."

Well, I'm not really lying. He's my friend, right?

"And you know, there's  really nothing to be ashamed of when buying condoms. You're practicing  safe sex and you support the Reproductive Health Law, you shouldn't be  embarrassed about it. You're an open-minded, proactive, and I hope,  responsible man who supports women's rights. There's nothing wrong with  that. "

Damn. There goes those lips again. Every time your lips move, there's this body part of mine that wants to move too.

"Besides, did you know  that condoms are classified as medical device? It should be registered  first with the Food and Drug Administration before it can be distributed  and sold in the market. That means it is being regulated by our local  regulatory agency. Just make sure to check the label, there should be a  DVR or MDR number. Like this one here, see?"

She pointed at the DVR number printed on the box with her fingers. Damn those sexy French tips.

"That means this product  is registered and FDA checked its quality, safety and biocompatibility.  If there's no DVR or MDR number, then that means the product is  illegally sold and in clear violation of Republic Act Number 3720 and  Republic Act 9711."

Tangina. I take back all the lusty, dirty thoughts I had earlier.

You  know what's sexier than those lips? That beautiful, smart, sensible  brains caged on her head. She's definitely more than what's between her  ears. She's beauty and brains.

I think I'm in love.

"I'll repeat what you need Sir. Two boxes of condoms, strawberry flavor. The brand without size na lang, to be sure".

I nod to confirm. She prepared it and punched it on their POS system. She handed me my purchases after I paid for it.

"Thank you, Sir. And  please don't hesitate to ask if you have any questions about drugs or  medicines, medical devices or any health-related products. Hope to see  you again, Mister..."

"Faulkerson. Richard Faulkerson, Junior."

I smiled, slightly turning my cheeks so she can catch a glimpse of my dimple, in case she didn't notice I have one.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Cafe Americano, este, Richard. I'm Maine".

She extended her  hand. I grabbed and kissed it while looking at her brown, expressive  eyes then pulled her close to me. De joke lang. Syempre shake hands lang  muna. Muna. Hehehe.

"Nice to meet you too Maine. Surely, magiging regular customer na ko ng drugstore nyo."

I was about to walk going to the exit when she called my name.

"Yes?"

"Sana next time, makilala ko din si Junjun".

Kingina. I can't wait to introduce Junjun to you too.

A/N:

Hi friends! I miss writing this story and I hope you miss them too.

To the new readers (kung meron man, hehe), this story came from Catharsis, my other published work.

As I've mentioned before in Catharsis, I know we  may have opposing views regarding Reproductive Health Law. I hope you  will not react violently to ficMaine's views. We can agree to disagree.  And the info about condoms are true as per FDA Phils regulations.

Again, thank you friends.

Unbeta'ed & not proofread.

ctto for the image used