Lamppost on 39th Street

Chapter one

"Hey, Ell," whispered Jackson into the cool morning streaks of sun filtering through the window, "you awake?" I roll over hoping to see his face beaming at me, but instead i'm greeted with cold air and empty sheets. It was just a dream. Five months have passed since that dreadful knock at my door, but yet i still feel him everywhere as though he were still here. I remember his last words. I remember our last kiss on the tarmac saying goodbye, not yet knowing it meant goodbye forever. Had I known he wouldn't come back, i never would have let him get on that plane. Although, i'm not sure my pleading would have made much of a difference anyway.

I throw the covers off and sit up, draping my legs over the edge of the bed. I run my hand through my hair and sigh as i glance around the room at photos of him hanging everywhere. On the wall above the headboard, on the other side of the room, and that one...our wedding photo. Standing upright on the dresser, the small oak-wood frame holds my greatest memory of him. I stand and walk over to the dresser, shivering under the thin fabric of my cotton sleep-wear. I grab the photo off the dresser. After a minute or two of examining his smile, as well as my own, i pull open the top drawer and slide the frame inside, not wanting to acknowledge his absence around every corner.

Out of nowhere comes this loud obnoxious buzz from the bedside table, breaking the never-ending silence. My phone. I slowly walk across the room and unplug my phone from its charger. When i click the screen open i see a text message from Ashley, my sister. Well sister-in-law. When i married Jackson she became my sister-in-law, which i wasn't thrilled about. Jackson and I went to high school together, which means i knew his "free-spirited" little sister as well. When Jackson and I started dating in the tenth grade, Ashley decided she didn't like me and took pictures of me in the girls locker room after gym class. Not only did she take the pictures, but she sent them so every kid in school. When Jackson found out that Ashley had done it, he was furious. On the night of our wedding, Ashley came up to me fifteen minutes before the ceremony and apologized for all the horrible things she did to me and said to me in high school. since then, her and I have been friendly.

"Wake up sleepy head. I know it hurts but you have to keep moving."

I roll my eyes and quickly respond with:

"Don't tell me what to do. Oh, and FYI, I have been up for a while. I'm just deciding if it's worth it to get out of bed. Maybe I'll just lay here and wither away." I click my screen off, and walk out the bedroom door, hoping i have something in my fridge to eat.

                                                                                             ***

Upon entering the kitchen, i start the coffee pot and open the fridge. I spot a carton of eggs on the second shelf. I grab the eggs and a frying pan out of the cupboard, and place the pan on the stove. As soon as the eggs start to cook my phone buzzes again on the kitchen counter. I grab it and read.

"Don't bitch. I'm only trying to help."

"I don't need your help. No matter how many times you try to tell me things will be all right, it still won't bring him back. So stop trying."

I toss the phone back on the counter, hoping maybe it will break so i don't have to talk to anyone. Suddenly i realize that if my phone doesn't work, everyone who wants to talk to me will come to my house. I grab my phone, now praying it isn't broken. It works, because i nearly drop it when it rings, showing that my mother is currently calling me.

"What?" I ask abruptly, dishing the eggs into a bowl, and turning off the stove.