Depression Destroys

Redemption (2016)

April of 2016, I was fifteen years old with many problems in my mind and at home. I had a difficult home life and soon discovered that scouts, school, sports, and other activities outside of my home away from my parents was much more enjoyable. At this point in my life was becoming desperate to tell people what I tell you now. One day after an argument, I had reached the end of the line; I was done hiding it all from people.

I walked around the outside of my house for ten minutes. In that ten minutes, I prayed. I gave thanks for everything that He had done for me to that point then I asked the most out of the ordinary thing. For someone that I could talk to here on Earth, I won't go into details but I was very specific about who I wanted to talk to. As April dragged on, a young woman in my Sunday school class suggested I go to the stake youth dances. That young woman's name was Judina(not real name). I didn't know at the time why she had asked that but at the time I was still closed off and said I would without meaning it. After that, the year dragged on into June. 

In June was a huge moment for me when Judina, Lily, and other youth in my church went to EFY(Especially For Youth). The Sunday after they returned, all the girls in my Sunday school class (four girls at the time) suggested I go to EFY next year. At that point, I was becoming a little more open and agreed to it, without realizing it. I had bent myself on going. The rest of that month past and July came around the month where my mind opened up far and wide.

In July, I was forced to go on a trek that was to represent something similar to the handcart companies that crossed the Great Plains. It was three days long; two days filled with hard walking pulling a handcart. The first day was rainy so the dirt trails turned to mud and the sand turned into a pit of nightmares. In the morning of the last day, we were packing up camp and I was desperate to talk with someone I had previously known; not caring who it was. I found myself a short time later talking with Lily. It was then I realized, weeks later, that people did want to talk with me and were interested in upkeeping a conversation with me; I was the one to end the conversation because my trek "brothers" asked for my help packing the tent.

Later that month, was a stake youth dance. I wasn't there so the next Sunday after the dance, the girls asked why I wasn't there. So the once again suggested me to go so it was when I realized that something was up at those dances that they wanted me to go to them for some reason. I agreed and this time, I meant it. I went to my first dance on August 9th, 2016. I have gone to every dance following that one (except for the 2016 New Years Eve dance).

I knew I was in for something as I entered my Sophmore year of high school, that next September. The following year, I was hit hard with realizing the acceptingness of the world; something I was looking forward to; for many years...