This is a story which I use in my stories when Jewel reminds Nathan part of it in the book, Dawn of the Empire; chapter, Distraught. This story is what happened in reality with real people and true events; all from my perspective of it.
(picture of my company for the week at EFY at Adolphus Gustavus )
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Extremely early into the beginning of this year of January 8th, I opened communications with my friend from Kindergarten again, this time though to bring forth my problem of my at home life. This was my first text to her informing her that was broken...
I'm mad, I'm sad, I'm confused, I'm more frail every moment of my harsh life, I'm giving up, I'm alone, I'm slowly losing my soul, I'm lost. How can my life get worse than it already is...my life once again falls into darkness as it had years ago...I had climbed out, now I fall into its darkest depths where I become more lost.
This was my text of desperation to her word for word. I was just done with life at that point but the only thing that got close to suicidal was this thought, "How would people react if I were to just vanish?" Though I wouldn't ask her this for numerous months, it was the beginning of the beginning. The months swiftly past into June, the month of EFY.
I will skip the majority of what happened at EFY except for the three important moments, which end up being at the two dances that happen during EFY and everyone's favorite night, Testimony Night; June 13th(Tuesday) was the first dance. That night during the dance I had planned for the past week to dance with Judina and thank her for getting to courage to suggest for me to go to the dances and EFY. Well, I did just that during a slow song and also told her that I had a difficult past without details. Then an unexpected compliment was said towards me. Just as I was about to thank her for dancing with me, Judina told me that I was amazing. I quickly processed what I was just told and responded with, "So are you." Nowadays I mean those words more than I did at that moment.
Thursday arrived which meant we could share our testimonies with our company. I shared my story(what I share with you all) tying it in with things I had learned throughout that week. It was then I realized that I needed to share my story with those I trusted. The first person that came to mind that I could tell was, of course, Judina.
That Friday the only thing that I could think was, "I am going to tell Judina", or, "I am not going to tell Judina". By the time the dance started, I landed on that I was going to tell her. When I finally told her details building on Tuesday, the most unexpected things happened to me. She gave me a hug and told me that she was open to talk about anything and not to be afraid to talk to her in person. Then she built onto that by saying, "Is there anything I can do for you to help you?"
I was stunned, a wave of shock took my mind, joy filled my heart, and internal tears fell. I replied with, "Nothing at this point in time, can I get your number though for when I do need to talk about things?" I did get her number and overall had a pretty good time after that. I changed a lot socially speaking after EFY and people noticed that quite well.
