(does not rhyme)
do you hear me?
can you see me?
do you notice how i feel?
i feel like im not trying
hard enough
to get your attention.
is it nice up there?
i'd see for myself but
i might not make it there.
im trying my best to
not disappoint you.
but its becoming harder and harder over time
as i grow up.
with getting older
comes realization.
i realized that
theres some things i
have never said to you.
i'd like to visit to tell you
formally,
but you're buried
too far away.
so I'll tell you now
what i never told you then.
and even if i did,
never enough.
so here's a list
of things i'd say to you
if you were still with me.
i love you too. and i mean it.
they used to just be words
i didnt quite understand.
but i am sure
and even though i was young
i missed my chance.
i love you.
thank you.
one thing im sure i
never said
if not by force
and not passionately
or meaningful.
i mean it.
for everything,
thank you.
im sorry.
sorry about my reaction
when i first found out you died.
i didnt know.
i thought that death
was just another thing
and that you'd get over it
like i thought you did
with your cancer.
but i didnt know
you'd be gone
forever.
i miss you.
even though we weren't very close
i still remember
the love
and how caring
and grateful you were
to have me.
when i was not with you
you were alone.
i was your company.
i had no idea that you were sick,
or what any of it meant.
all of these things
are what i hold
against myself
over you.
but the only thing
i can do now
is say
r.i.p. ❤
