A Depressed Teen

Chapter 10

"Are you ok hun?" Jordaine asked unsure as I nod.

I started to fret wondering if he had found out about last night.

"Ya sure?" questioned him.

I nod trying to hide the sob I held in.

He turns away from me and focused on the road. There was slight frustration on his face but he tried to hide it.

"Where are we going though?" I asked breaking the tension.

"You'll see when we get there" he simply said.

I just stared out the window thinking about last night.

❌trigger warning❌

❌trigger warning❌

❌trigger warning❌

*flashback*

I studied the words of the sad song as I listen to it.

I sobbed into my pillow more.

It was the kind of sobbing where you can't breathe because you are trying not make a sound.

It was the kind that you had to grip your stomach as you flinched.

It was the kind that made you feel like you're drowning in your own tears.

It was the near to death kind.

My skin etch for the need of release.

I tried not to because I was clean for months.

But somehow I ended up finding my beautiful shinny blades.

I dug into my flesh as the blood rushed out.

I felt relieved.

All the demons were calm in my head.

My heart stopped racing.

My head stopped spinning.

And my body relaxed.

I lashed the blades across my skin a few more times only alot deeper.

I sighed and sat on the bathroom floor watching my blood flow like River Nile.

I was now pleased.

*             *

I remember what had happened last night and tug on my sweater sleeves trying to hide the violent wounds.

He saw me do so. Dear God! He saw me!

He knows something is up.

Way to go, genius!

"Aren't you hot?" he asked restarting the conversation after a long moment of silence.

"No" I said too quickly. Instant regret.

He slightly jumped.

"Wrist check" he called at the stop light.

Ughhh we still had to do that. 

I pulled up the sleeve on my right arm for him to check. He looked at me.

"We both know that's not the arm!" he snarled.

I let out a deep sigh.

Here we go.

I slowly lift the sleeve trying not affect the wounds.

He had found a parking space and we are still in the car awaiting to see my cuts.