A Depressed Teen

Chapter 1 -The first cut-

I lay in bed contemplating if I should get out bed or just be a lazy blob like yesterday. I drew my phone from the edge of the bed to check the time.8:16 am. My grandmother called for me to get up.

I adjust my eyes to the brightness of the room. I rubbed it a few times as I stared at my mirror. Looking deep within my flaws. I got over it and did not cry this time. I make my way to the bathroom and did my morning routine.

I'm Brianna by the way. I am a Trinidadian. I am 15. Extremely short jet black hair. Fricking fat and shortest out of all my friends.

I came out the shower and put on my clothes. I got a text from one of my closest friends. Ashante(Ash)
"Hey,you up yet hun"

"yep,brb my grandma needs me"

I ended the conversation and went to the kitchen where she was."Why hell this is here. You were told to do them!" she yelled at me and me holding down my head disgusted."I forgot" I honestly said. She moved out the way so I could clean the dirty dishes."I'm gonna take away that phone if you don't behave well" she hissed and walked off.

I finished them and head back to my room. I fell under the covers and I felt extremely weak. I got over it and started texting my friends.

-What to do-
*do laundry
*do homework
(remember your on fasting today).

I finished writing on a sticky not and paste it to my bed post. I could not get a song out my head so I went to YouTube to get my results.

Dream by Priscilla ahn.

I listened closely to the lyrics as I related to every word said. A tear came to the brim of my eyes. I quickly wiped it away. An hour later my anxiety started up as I replayed every hate said unto me. Oh oh.
My breathing getting heavy.
My heart started racing.
The room started spinning.
My vision became blurry.

I tried on calming myself down. hell nahh that definitely didn't work. I searched my little ear ring boxes for my release.

×Trigger warning×

×Trigger warning×

× Trigger warning×

I hurriedly open the box. 7 thick blades popped open. I grabbed the biggest one. I struggled to the bathroom and shut the door.

I held the blade vertically towards my wrist as I sunk it in deeply. Only seeing my skin splitting into halves as I do so. My anxiety now calm and I do so again. A few more times and now the bathroom is full of blood.

This morning I was forced to eat. I did not waste time. I shoved my finger to the rear end of my throat. I held my head over the toilet violently throwing up. Everything did not come up so I did it again. I was now happy with myself.

I exited the bathroom and happily greet my 4 year old sister,Ronica. She is beautiful unlike me. She can be a pain in the ass but sometimes I enjoy her company. She is jovial,hyperactive and gorgeous. Her hazel eyes stand out more than her long african kinky hair. She is light brown in complexion. Absolutely stunning in her outfits usually picked out by her. She is very heavy for her age.

I grabbed a few bracelets and I continued my day. Faking my smile like usual. I finished my to do list and now its just time to relax my little pea-sized brain.