Loss of Control ↠ Jerome Valeska

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P R E S E N T   D A Y

I sat down on my old rusty lawn chair on the balcony of my small apartment. I leaned back against the chair and put my feet up onto the old peeling rail.

I whipped out my trusty lighter and lit a cigarette. It's a truly disgusting habit, I'm aware- but Raven got me addicted and it's hard to turn back. The thing about me is I get addicted to things quite easily.

All of that didn't matter right now though. It was as peaceful as it gets here in Gotham. I leaned back, puffed out a ring of smoke and watched the grey clouds float above me. Ah, this was nice.

Suddenly there was a loud honk from cars down below as I heard two people yelling.

There it is. That awful Gotham sound I've grown accustomed to.

I was now at the end of my cigarette and I blew out my last puff of smoke. I guess Raven felt relaxed too, because she wasn't making comments or trying to take over.

I put my cigarette into the tray and got up opening the sliding glass door. I was greeted by the smell of eggs frying, as usual- Laura is cooking.

"Where were you off to?" She asked sassily while flipping an egg. "I'm assuming you were-"

"Out for a smoke. Bingo." I cut her off giving her a smile, and she returned with a glare.

"You know, Ari it's going to get you very sick, and I might lose you. What are you risking all that for? Lousy smoking. Which also, by the way, makes you smell awful and isn't very attractive." Laura plopped a sunny side up egg onto a plate.

"I know, it's just that it helps me forget things, and it's hard to quit." I frowned to myself and sat down on one of the wooden chairs. "Besides, she doesn't want to quit. She thinks it's soothing." My elbows rested on the table and I placed my head on my hand.

Laura sat down in front of me handing me a plate of her amazing eggs and a fork. "Maybe this will cheer you up." She smiled a contagious grin.

Oh, I forgot to mention, Laura is my roommate, guardian, and the one person I trust with my life. Laura is 22 right now. She's also the only one who knows about my, erm, 'condition'. Laura has tried to get me to a doctor or therapist, but I always deny her.

There is nothing wrong with me.

I look up from my plate to an old damaged painting. I painted that when I was 14, the year Raven burned down the orphanage. She killed all of the children, which they
did not deserve at all. Worst of all, Raven used me to do it. It's been two years since that torturous memory occurred.

I painstakingly look towards Laura. She looked so peaceful eating. I never had the courage to tell her about what Raven did.

I looked out the balcony window and a flyer was blown up by the wind. I run over to grab it and Laura gives me a confused expression. I ignore her and open the sliding door with a bit of struggle. Man, we need to get that door fixed.

I lean over the rail and barely grab it by my fingertips. As I was opening up the flyer to read it I hear Laura walk up in front of me. "What does it say?"

I turn the paper over to face her. "We're going to the circus tonight."