Justifer: From the beginning

A Pitt of Regret - Part II

Justin continued to drive his fists into Brad's ribs as hard as he could. Even as he felt the bones under his knuckles, the pain that shot through his hands, and heard Jen's voice begging him to stop, he just couldn't. Ignoring Brad's grunts of pain, he pulled his fist back to hit him again when suddenly, a strong hand clamped around his wrist. He looked back at George angrily and struggled to free himself from his grip.

"That's enough, JT." George said calmly. "He's had enough."

George held Justin back as he fought to attack Brad again.

"I knew it! I knew I couldn't trust you, you bastard!" Justin yelled at a cowering Brad. He saw the angry black and blue bruising forming on Brad's eye and the blood trickling from his lip and felt a sense of satisfaction.

"You had your chance, you dumb son of a bitch!" he raged. "You had your chance and you blew it! Jen is my wife! Mine! Keep your f*cking hands off her!"

Brad, still bent over in pain and holding his aching ribs, replied through gritted teeth. "I've loved her a lot longer than you, asshole. You saw for yourself that she still has feelings for me. You don't know her like I do and you never will."

Justin lunged for Brad again but George caught him by the arms and turned him in Jen's direction to snap him back to sensibility.

"Look at your wife, Justin." said George. "C'mon buddy, take her home."

Justin focused on Jen who sat crying on the grass a few feet away with her back turned to him. Her shoulders shook and his heart broke.

"I'm really sorry about all this, George." he said, shaking his friend's hand.

"I understand man. Brad is one of my best friends.. but what he did was wrong. I would have kicked his ass too." George replied with a wink.

Justin went over to Jen and helped her up. Neither of them said a word as they walked back to the house. The other guests, oblivious to what had happened just a few yards away, kept partying as Jen and Justin packed up and left.

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They drove the entire way home in complete silence, thankful that their son had remained asleep through all the drama. Once they arrived at the house, Jen went to put Kai in his bed. Justin went to their bedroom and packed a bag. Jen entered the room and stood in the doorway as he zipped the bag shut and turned to leave. For the first time since the whole thing started, they were face-to-face and looking into each other's eyes.

After what seemed like an eternity, Justin finally broke the silence.

"How could you do this? How could you-" His voice broke and he shut his eyes tightly trying to chase away the image of his wife kissing another man as the scene replayed in his mind like a looped video.

The pain and hurt in Justin's voice shredded Jen to her core. She had been asking herself that very question. How could she have let this happen? She had betrayed the man she loved. She had no idea how was she going to make this right but she knew had to. Just the thought of losing Justin brought an agony worse than anything she had ever felt.

"Justin, there's nothing I can say that will make this better. All I can do is be honest about what happened, and hope that you can find a way to forgive me." She shifted her weight from one leg to the other as she spoke.

Justin sat on the edge of the bed and looked up at her expectantly. "Go ahead."

His eyes revealed the true depth of the hurt he was feeling and Jen found it nearly impossible to keep looking into them as she spoke, but she knew it was important that she did.

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"When Brad told me about his feelings for me, I'll admit that I felt something. I'm still not even sure what I felt but it was there."

She spoke quietly, trying to say the right things but be completely honest at the same time.

"I loved Brad for a very long time. I guess after years of thinking that I had failed so miserably at being a wife, I finally saw that the failure wasn't all mine; and that felt.. incredible."

She looked down at her hands before continuing. "I didn't want him to kiss me, Justin. I swear to you I didn't. I wanted to say no. I wanted to move away or slap him or..anything! I was just so shocked by what was happening that I felt paralyzed. I pulled away as soon as it happened but by then, you had already looked away."

Justin listened intently. In his heart he knew every word she said was true but he was still unable to let go of the anger that he was trying desperately to hold at bay.

Brad's words still rang clearly in his ears. 'She still has feelings for me. You don't know her like I do and you never will.'

Maybe he was right. Maybe he didn't really know her at all. Plagued with doubts, Justin stood and picked up his bag. He went past Jen to the bedroom door and stopped.

"I heard everything you said and I believe it's the truth," he said without turning to face her, "but ... it's just not enough, Jen. Not right now."

All hope drained from Jen's face and her shoulders slumped in defeat. She felt him slipping away from her. She was losing him.

"Justin, please-" Jen begged, but he silenced her with a shake of his head.

He ran his hand over his face as he often did when he was very tired. He just wanted to escape for a while and think things out. For the sake of his own sanity, he needed to get away.

"I need some time. I need to be away from you for a little while."

"I understand." She said through fresh tears.

He muttered, "I'll call you", and walked out of the room, taking her happiness with him.

Justin went to Kai's room to kiss his son goodbye and then left the house without another word.

Jen clamped a hand over her mouth, overtaken by sudden nausea, and ran to the bathroom. Minutes later, when her stomach had stopped heaving, she washed her hands and face, checked on Kai, and crawled into bed where she cried herself to sleep.