Souled Out ➳ Lauren Jauregui

twenty-six

I knocked on the door and heard and small "Come in" from inside of the room. I slowly pushed the door open and saw Lauren at the dimly lit desk.

"You wanted to see me?" I whispered.

Laur sighed out and pointed towards her bed, "Can I talk to you for a second?" I hurried over to the bed and saw the sad expression written all over the older woman's face from this angle. She was just staring at the piles in front of her.

"I just wanted to thank you for letting me borrow your books, but you obviously know that they won't be any use to me now."

"What makes you say that?"

She scoffed, "You're joking, right? There's no way I'd be able to make out the letters in my own name let alone the small ones on these pages."

"Okay, I get it."

"Anyways, I was going to ask Ally if she wanted to read these to me, but there was only one thing on her mind and I didn't feel like dealing with that today."

I thought about how jolted and confused Ally was and that didn't seem to be the case. "I think she was trying to help, but probably in another way, Lauren."

"Did I ask about what you think?" She coldly bit at me.

Her stare was straight at the wall, but the conviction she had was real. Standing straight up and clenching her fists when I wouldn't speak up. Finally, she noticed I wouldn't be saying anything anytime soon. I couldn't. I was scared, but then again I was pitying her. She literally couldn't see me, so I would have a easy fight to get away this time. Then again I didn't want to get into some fight as soon as I got home, so I listened to what she had to say. "Just take the fucking books, please." She crossed her arms then leaned back in her chair at the desk.

When I spoke, I didn't think. I really should've thought it through more, but I didn't. I should've just taken the books and left. "Do you want me to read them to you?"

"Okay, I don't need your pity."

"I never said-"

A whole new Lauren had emerged. "Do you know what my family is gonna do when they find out what happened? And that's going to happen when the results come back and all of this is permanent."

"You're negative when you're sad. Chill out. The doctors said its supposed to clear in a few months if you take care of your eyes for the time being. So, put on some sun glasses and we will make a couple Stevie Wonder jokes through out the next month. I promise it won't be that bad."

The little bit of the sarcasm I had made her smirk. "I'm trying to be realistic, Y/N."

I decided to change up the subject. That conversation was too toxic. I had questions and I knew she was the only person that would actually talk to me and tell me the truth. "You know what? Yes. We can be realistic starting right now." The chair slowly turned to look straight at me. "Now be realistically honest. Do you know where Joan is?"

It was almost as if the question surprised her. "No, why would I?"

"The girls and you saw her last. I'm just trying to understand what happened while I was in the hospital. Someone doesn't just disappear."

Lauren was caught in a daze. She wasn't paying attention even after I started calling her name.

LAUREN'S POV

I remember hearing it, all of it. I was thinking back to before I lost my sight and the moments there after. I had seen Joan last. Well, heard her, actually. The somewhat small lady was somehow gagged and stuffed into a bag in the back of one of the SUV's behind the building while we 'took care of' Donny.