Overcoming.

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overcome-succeed in dealing with (a problem or difficulty). 

 I won't say that hey everything will be fine. Wounds may heal, but the scars stay. it's never something that we can just forgive or forget, something that we can leave behind. 

  Neither will I say that there are people who don't have a haunting past. even the most good-looking girl I know, the most good-looking boy I know, and I sigh from how broken they all are inside as they struggle to put on that glamorous smile that they have in every group photos or selfies. 

 To overcome is learning how to deal with it, and we all have different ways of dealing with it.

  As a student, my grades got terrible when it happened because I would spend nights after nights crying to myself, listless in class. Afterwards, I learned to cut, wrists, arms, tighs... you name it, I have it.

   I tried to busy myself with school work, to the point that I can spend days doing work, learning nothing in the process, ruining my health in the process. 

  I occasionally sit on the corridor railing of the 14th-floor apartment in the middle of the night at 3 am,  talking and crying to myself. I'll look down and laugh at my lack of courage and go home. 

  it's selfish, I must say,  to pray to end everything.  You might not notice it, but people notice it, those little "are you alright, you look really tired." are not meant to rub it in or that they didn't know, they do, they yearn for you to share the burden and allow them to walk through this journey with you.  When they leave you alone, they're not ditching or giving up on you, they just wanted to give you the privacy that they believe you need.

  I looked for alternatives. I started to spread positivity to others. I know how it felt, it was horrible. No one else deserves to feel such emotions. I learned to love others, I learned to help others trust, I learned to make people feel better. By doing it, I learned to loosen my grip on my past. 

  But I still remember it, occasionally I cry over it, have a nightmare. But it's also from this that I came to learn to love others, I came to be able to feel some happiness from watching other people stop crying and give you a genuine smile, a smile that reached their eyes. 

  What matters is that you must never hate yourself, you couldn't help it. But as time pass, you will learn to manage it. I'm not asking for you to let go and forget, keep it in your mind if you want, but don't grip so tightly onto it. 

  I was once scared to let go, fearing that I'll lose myself, it was horrible. But remember that you should never give up. I didn't and I got beautiful chances to make up for the wrong choices. 

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  I know some of you might feel that I don't relate to your situation much. 

  I won't confidently rebut that I do too. 

  We all faced a different situation. But it's important to never give up even when things seem bleak. Do drop me a message to share with me your thoughts on such matters. I believe that it is important to face them instead of trying to bury it six feet underground and pretend that it doesn't exist. You're a brave soul <3