Just this once

Chapter three

Erika's POV

I tentatively run my fingers over the rough skin on my arm, carefully tracing each scar on my wrist.

One scar for every reason why I am a disappointment, no good, unworthy even of life.

With a deep sigh I start lathering on the coverup, time to hide the real me, time to put on a fake smile and talk with happiness in my voice, such a thing I have never known.

I quickly shrug on a top tugging on the sleeves and putting my thumbs in the holes, adding thick bangle bracelets to make sure the fresh cuts are hidden.

I run downstairs skipping breakfast mumbling that I'm not hungry in case anyone is noticing. That's a lie, I'm starving, and I don't mean it in some dramatic over exaggerated way.

No, I am literally starving myself.

I don't ever feel like eating. I have been Anorexic for almost two months now and just the thought of eating makes me feel sick.

________________________

For many people school it is a curse, for me it is the closest thing to a haven. There I am relatively safe, usually I just have to survive the ride with Mrs. Sheryl.

Mrs. Sheryl is my Mothers best friend, she treats me horrible.

She's one of those parents that thinks her children can do no wrong, that her 'angels' are just that, perfect.

So whenever her children do something wrong you can guess who's to blame. Ding ding ding I'm the winner! The prize? A burst of harsh, untrue words that hurt, the thing about Mrs. Sheryl, is that she knows right where to hit you to cause the most damage just like she does.

Mrs. Sheryl acts all cheery like nothing is wrong until I am trapped in the car with her where she attacks me.

It's the cold edge to her voice and the glare of pure hatred- a look I know all to well, it's horrific.

She waits until I am alone with her and Anna, my best friend and her daughter.

She spews vengeance at me like a volcano. And Anna? She does nothing as her mother explodes on me to the point of tears.

I love Anna but she is one of the main reasons I am this way. She has always been skinny, smart, fast, and beautiful; with her gorgeous Auburn hair. She is untouchable to the guys and ever since I was little I couldn't help but compare myself to her.

My skin is too pale.

My waist too thick.

The ugly mop of choppy dirty blond strands I call my hair.

I am not good enough.

No one will ever want me.

No one will ever love me.