Devil I Jikook I

Reality

JIMIN'S POV

I never realized how pretty the campus was until I sat on the roof of the dorm building, the breathtaking greenery providing a sense of serenity. I let my legs dangle dangerously over the edge, my fingers clutching the concrete lip. And if I fell off the edge? Well, it would be a tragic side effect, but nevertheless, a welcomed one. 

I looked down at my wrist, the white marks taunting me. I tried covering them with makeup, but when the foundation touched the tallies, a painful burning sensation raced through my arm. I had to resort to wearing large sweatshirts so the others couldn't see the marks. My recent revelation haunted my thoughts, dominating all my actions and emotions. Maybe this was how Jungkook how felt whenever I was near him - helpless.

My cellphone, which sat a couple of feet away from me, began to vibrate, Hobi's contact showing up. I scoot back, so I was safely on the roof before answering his call.

"Jimin! Where are you, we need to rehearse!" 

Shit, rehearsal. 

"Did you forget, Jimin?" Hobi's accusing voice rang from the other end, making me heat up in embarrassment.

"No! Of course not, hyung! I'm on my way right now!" 

"Alright, see you soon."

After he hung up, I ran down to the dorm, grabbed my backpack, and sprinted to the practice rooms.

By the time I entered the practice room, Hobi, Jungkook, and Tae already finished the first routine. Hobi clucked his tongue when he sees me. "Jiminie, I expected better from you." Despite scolding me, his voice was light, almost teasing. Out of the corner of my eye, I sawJungkook open his mouth to say something, making panic jolt through me. He then closes it and looks away, much to my relief. I can't hurt him more than I already have.

Hobi clapped his hands together, a bright beam on his face. "Let's get started, shall we?"

I had never been more unfocused during dance practice. I had always put all my effort into dance, but today, I was stumbling over my feet, running into people, and my body was entirely out of sync. Two hours later, Hobi dismissed the other two, deeming their performances well executed. He remained in the studio with me, and as I got up to began a rigorous practice session, he pulled me to the ground next to him.

"You and Jungkook are both very distracted. You didn't notice how much he was tripping over himself, but Tae and I did. He kept sneaking glances at you, hoping you'd look at him. I'm not sure what exactly happened between you two, but you need to resolve it, fast."

I can't resolve it. I hurt him. If I approach him, I'll make it worse. I can't hurt him again; he doesn't deserve the pain. I deserve the pain more than him. I tugged my sweatshirt sleeve lower, so it covered my hands, a tingling feeling developing on my right wrist. Hobi observed my actions, awaiting a response. 

I managed a stiff smile. "I'll try, hyung."

Hobi nodded, noticeably grateful that I agreed without argument. "Takeout?"

I genuinely grinned. "Sushi?" I asked hopefully, sticking out my lower lip. Hobi chucked. "Sure, Jimin-ah."

Hobi grabbed my right wrist to pull me up from the ground. When he did so, he quickly withdrew his hand with a cry of pain. Momentarily forgetting about my markings, I gingerly turned his hand over to inspect his fingers. They were red, the flesh irritated as if he was burnt. "It's so weird Jiminie. It's like your wrist... burned me." He trailed off as he caught sight of the white tallies; my sleeves had slipped down, exposing them. Our eyes simultaneously widened, Hobi looking at me with an expression of betrayal. I stuffed my hand into my pocket, gathered my belongings, and slung my backpack over my shoulder. I then bolted out the door, ignoring Hobi's frantic calls of "Jimin! Wait!"

When I got back to the dorm, I wanted to get as far away from Hobi as possible. There was only one place I could lock myself; the bathroom, so that's where I hid. I never wanted to come out, terrified of facing Hobi. When he entered the dorm, I heard his footsteps as he yelled "Jimin? Jimin are you in here? Jimin, please!" 

I let out a small whimper, which Hobi must have heard because he began to knock on the door. When I didn't answer, he slammed himself against the door several times, his voice breaking as he begged me to come back out. I was hurting Hobi.

Maybe I really am just a devil, existing to bring pain to others.

For months now, I've been the cause of every wince, every mishap. I make Jungkook collapse to the floor in sobs; I make him howl in torment. I was bringing his memories back, the memories he worked so hard to bury. 

I curl up into a ball, my head spinning as my thoughts spiraled out of reach. I have no control anymore.

Good. Now I feel how he felt whenever I was around him.

I deserve this.

I deserve this.

I deserve this.

I woke up with aching limbs, a clouded mind, and a desolate heart. What have I become? What am I doing?

A nasty response echoed in my head. You've always been like this. Weak, only alive to hurt others. 

With a suffering sigh, I got up from a corner of the bathroom, craving ice-cold water to soothe my raw throat. As I padded out of the bathroom, I heard a voice from the bedroom, door slightly ajar. Hobi seemed to the be on the phone, his voice hushed. Forgetting about my water, I crept closer to hear what he was saying. Yes, it was wrong to eavesdrop, but it seems that I'm only good for committing immoral actions.

Hobi's voice was shaky as he talked to the other person.

"He knows, Yoongi hyung. He knows."