cherry eyes

i am a ningyo that forgot how to swim | c

how does this happen? scream it to me. yell it so loud that your words will vibrate off the alien walls of my dying but not dying soul! shout so fucking violently that the indestructible bricks that contain me will shake and tremble and collapse at the sound of your voice; i will finally understand why.

can you bring me back to life please? i do not think i can do it alone.

take my shoulders and push and pull and push and pull until blue canaries circle my head. do you see that? my tears are shards of glass and they're trickling out of my eye sockets; they're cutting at your feet - at your everything. i did not ask for this, zeus! find a way to forgive me, please; for i do not and i know that i cannot forgive myself.

there it is again; the fathomless stupefaction. the deep, deep, ocean deep exhaustion that likes to chain my battered and bruised heart down in the pits of my stomach and keep it hostage until a time where i have grown accustomed to it - then it decides to leave. mostly because it likes to copy my friends and thinks they forget i exist or something. (what did you say her name was again?)

i was sculpted for this so why does it feel like i do not belong here? i weep in a language they do not understand. i do not want to be here; not anymore.

- i am a ningyo that has forgotten its roots. what did you say it means to swim?