Colour Me Red [COMPLETED]

26.

26.

       As soon as the door slammed against its hindges, my body kicked into over drive. No, he couldn't leave. I loved him too much to watch his back turn and to watch him leave me like this. I loved him too much to not work this out.

I ran out of the shop after him, my body running on adrenaline and what seemed to be the energy from my breaking heart. And it really was breaking. I needed him, I couldn't watch him leave me.

"Nick!" I shouted. His body turned on the pavement and he watched me run after him. He didn't move but his intense eyes on my body gave me the confidence I needed. They always did. "Please, you can't go." I pleaded. I stopped before him, my breath coming out in short pants.

"I-"

"We can talk this out, I can make this better." I was desperate now, so desperate. I needed him to see sense, I needed him to want me. "Just don't go, don't leave me, please Nick, please." I was almost sobbing as I now clutched on to the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

"I have to." He breathed. "I have to."

"You don't have to." I looked at him, his eyes showing me that he was also breaking. If this was too much for him, why was he doing it? We could be happy together, we were anyway.

Nick sighed before laying two hands to my face. I let him touch me, his touch already making me feel calmer, safer.

"I have to." He repeated. "This was never going to be easy and I wanted to leave you angry, not like this." He looked to me. "I wanted you to hate me so leaving would be easier."

"Don't leave at all!" I cried. "Nick, please, I love you." A tear fell from my eyes and Nick wiped it away. As soon as he did, he squeezed his eyes shut tightly. He shook his head as if he didn't want to hear the words at all.

"Don't." A strangled cry left his lips. "Don't make this harder than it is."

"I love you, Nick." I repeated forcefully. "I'll do anything, I promise."

"Cathy, stop." Nick snapped but his eyes started to tear up. I looked to him, wondering why he was feeling this way. Why did he want to leave me? Didn't I make him happy? Was I too much baggage? I had so many questions and no willpower to ask them. I needed him to stay first, because watching his back turn was just too much. He was hurting me, couldn't he see?

"I'll do anything for you, Nick. I'm sorry if I've never showed it, I'm sorry if I haven't made you happy but you walking out on me is going to kill me, Nick, I fucking need you, I need you more than anything." I didn't want to lay all the cards on the table this way. Should I have told him I loved him sooner? Didn't I make it obvious? I was a closed off person but I tried to show him I loved him. Because I did, and something like that was hard to cut off.

But he didn't realise how much I needed him.

"Cathy, you're guttering me." He breathed, a small tear left his eye as he said the words. He didn't bother wiping it away, I think he wanted me to see it, to see how much I was effecting him.

"I just want you to come home with me, Nick." I whispered, my throat closing so tightly I couldn't breath. I hadn't realised Nick leaving would make me hurt this much. Or maybe I had, I just hadn't thought about it. The thought was too much, and this was damn right unbearable.

"These last few months have showed me exactly where my home lies and it's with you, but I need to leave and you need to trust me." He looked to me, his eyes pleading. "You need to trust me and just give me some time, okay?"

"How much time do you need?" I asked. Could I give him time? "What do you want from me?"

"I've got to go, Cathy." He looked to me. "I need to leave." He flickered his eyes around us.