Colour Me Red [COMPLETED]

28.

28

         "Do you want to go home?" Emily soothed my arm as she looked to me with a huge amount of pity. "He will come round, Xavier will make sure of it."

I shook my head. No, I didn't want to go home. I wanted to stay, I needed to speak to him. I couldn't speak to him drunk so I would have to wait until he was sober enough to talk.

Emily sighed but she didn't push me further. She took hold of my hand gently and moved me away from the now silent room and dragged me to the living room. I let her.

As soon as she had me sat down on the sofa, she went to the kitchen to flick to kettle on.

"It's not always the easiest thing, Cathy, and I know exactly how you're feeling and what you're thinking." She said from the kitchen. I looked to the wall across me but I didn't have the energy to answer her. I knew she knew but I wished she could help these feelings.

Anger started to seep through my bones as I thought back to what had happened only a few minutes before. I was in shock, Nick had never treated me like that and he had absolutely no right to!

Okay, this was good. I wanted to feel angry at him, I wanted to be pissed off. He treated himself as the victim but this was all his fault, he was the one who left me so he gave him the right to treat me the way he did?

I stood up from the sofa with force which caught Emily's attention almost immediately. She looked to me from her stance at the counter.

"Cathy-"

"I'm pissed off." I snapped out. I hadn't meant to snap at her but the emotions running through my body were just too over whelming.

All I wanted was a relationship with Nick. Instead, he was the one playing games with my head. He said he loved me but then he left me. I wanted to talk this out with him but all he wanted to do was treat me as if everything was my fault.

Did I deserve this? Absolutely not. I wanted him to be there for me after a stressful two weeks, instead, he was doing the opposite.

When did he become so selfish?

My thoughts were only adding fuel to the fire but I was glad. I wanted to be angry, I wanted to be red hot bloody angry at him before my tears washed me away.

"I've had enough." I stated as I looked to her. "I have honestly had it up to here." I used my hand for good indication and all she could do was look at me. "I've tried everything with that man, Em, everything. He's not helping and he obviously doesn't want this. I don't want to keep running to him when all he's doing is running away. This isn't fair, this isn't fair on me."

"Maybe you should just-"

"No, Em, you're not getting it." I walked towards her in the kitchen. "I've spent my whole life trying to get it together. The one time I'm finally happy, everything has to ruin it and I'm back to where I was before. I'm too weak and way too naive to keep thinking this is a good thing. He doesn't want me and I'm not going to keep begging him to." I shrugged. "I'm over this, I'm over everything."

"What are you going to do?" The sadness in her eyes was evident. She had started to become like family to me, her, Nick and Xavier.

"I don't know yet." I stated. Maybe earn some money to leave the village. Maybe my father and I could go travelling together. We both needed a brain refresh.

"You've been hurt before haven't you?" Emily asked as her head cocked to the side. "Somebody hurt you."

"Maybe not in the way you're thinking." I quietly replied. Her eyes were just too knowing.