Piano Man (Tradley au)

Chapter 14- Brad's POV

As I'm kissing Tristan, all I can think of is how much I shouldn't be. I'm drunk and we're just meant to be friends, plus he's only semi out of a horrible relationship. But yet I can't stop kissing him. It feels right, even though it's so wrong. I don't know how Tristan feels, but he isn't pulling away either. Eventually I see sense and break us apart. I don't know how I'm feeling, but he appears to be a mixture of confusion, happiness and shock all at once.

"I'm sorry." I manage to say. "I shouldn't have done that."

Tristan almost looks to stunned to say anything, but he then surprises me by saying "No, it's ok." He seems to be holding back from something though, and I'm proved right when he suddenly says "I need some air." and stands up quickly.

I shove all my stuff in my bag and go to follow him. "No!" I shout over the loud music. "Don't just run out on me again!"

Tristan turns to look at me with a hurt look on his face. "I'm not." he says. "I genuinely need some air."

I instantly feel guilty, but follow him out anyway. We sit down on the kerb in the cold night air, and neither of us says anything for a while- I can't think of anything to say that would make this situation better, and I can hear Tristan breathing heavily. After a couple of minutes, he says "Why did you do that?"

I genuinely don't know what to tell him. "I don't know. I guess I just thought it was a good idea." There's a pause where I wait for him to reply, but he doesn't, so I say "I'm really sorry." Tristan looks up at me properly, and my heart breaks when I see his eyes swimming with tears. "No, please don't cry." I say desperately.

Tristan sniffles. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be crying-"

I cut him off. "It shouldn't be you who's apologising." I tell him. "I shouldn't have done that. It's not fair to you."

Tristan sighs deeply. "I don't know. Like, I didn't hate it, it's just..." I reach to take his hand and he gives me a small, grateful smile. "Promise you won't laugh?" he asks me.

"Of course I won't." I say firmly.

He bites his lip. "I guess it just feels a bit weird. I haven't really kissed anyone since Corey, it was a bit of a shock."

I could kick myself for being so stupid- of course kissing hi would bring up all sorts of weird and difficult emotions for him. Now I feel even more guilty. "God, i hadn't even thought of that. I'm so, so sorry." Given how drunk I am, I'm trying to be careful in what I say. I don't want to upset him even more.

Tristan gives me a small smile and then silence falls again. It's comfortable, but I still want to say something. He appears to have forgiven me, but I still want to know what will happen to us now. But even I've figured out that now probably isn't the best time. We're still holding hands, and I give his a gentle squeeze. Eventually I can't take it anymore, and stand up and drag him to his feet. "Come on." I say. "Let's go home."

"What will we do after that?" Tristan asks, looking slightly concerned. 

"We can talk about all this tomorrow." I say. "It'll look better after a good night's sleep." Thankfully Tristan agrees, and we set off home. I'm glad he agreed- given that it was me who got us into this mess, I wouldn't blame him if he told me to fuck off. All the way back to my apartment, he grips my hand. It makes sense that he needs some kind of comfort, given how many feelings have come out of the woodwork tonight.

We get back and I let him in first, it's the least I can do. "Do you want a drink?" I ask. I shouldn't be able to function this well given that I'm drunk, but the shock appears to have sobered me up a bit. 

He shakes his head. "No thank you. I'd just like to go to bed if that's ok."

"Of course it is." I say assuringly. "Do you want some space tonight?"

He nods. "Yes please."

"Ok." I say, smiling at him. "Sweet dreams." He gives me a weak smile before heading off to bed. I make myself some coffee, hoping that it'll help me feel better in the morning. I hope Tristan does too, I hate feeling that I've made him unhappy. But we can deal with that tomorrow, stewing over it now isn't going to help. 

Once I've finished my drink, I go to get ready for bed myself. I check on Tristan on the way, and my heart breaks when I see him curled up asleep with tear tracks on his cheeks. But I can't help that now. I head to my own bedroom and begin to drift off the moment I get into bed. But somehow I don't think I'll get much sleep tonight.

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I liked this chapter, though I feel a bit bad for making them both sad 😢 Please vote and comment if you enjoyed it!

It's my best friends birthday tomorrow, she's 18 (and that's so damn weird to think about, I've known her since we were 11).