Through The Lens | ✓

12

I watched Ava's face that Friday evening as she flipped through my growing album.

Her face didn't change from her weirded-out expression as she looked at each photo. I stared at her, waiting for her to say something.

She looked up from the album. "Okay, I'll admit, he's really hot-"

I squealed. "I know right!"

"But, it's still just really weird, Cam." I frowned at her. I knew what she meant, yeah, but I didn't want to admit it out loud. I crossed my legs, and looked down at my hands, debating on what to say next.

"You should really ask yourself what you're doing and what you want to get out of this," she said, putting a hand on my shoulder, I met her eyes.

I sighed. "I do know what I want to get out of this."

She took her hand away. "Oh. Then what do you want to get out of it? Because if you don't really have a plan, you're wasting your time, like I said before."

"I want to get a boyfriend out of it, Ava. Duh. I've never had a boyfriend in all the seventeen years of my life, and I think it's time to start now." I told her exactly the truth, and only the truth. That was what I wanted to get out of it.

My whole life I was afraid to get a boyfriend, worried that the same thing would happen to me that happened to my mama. She fell in love, and got played. I worried that I would get strung on by a boy, until snap, he broke the rope, and let me fall into a deep hole of heartbreak.

Ava's voice broke through my train of thoughts. "But you don't have to date this one guy that you just happened to come upon one day in a cafe. I know you have your heart set on him and all, but there's other guys out there."

"But, there really isn't. There isn't anyone as amazing as Finlay," I protested.

"Tell me how he's different from other guys. Tell me why he's" - she made air quotes - "'so amazing'."

"Well first of all, he's just somehow looks magical when he reads his books, the way he flips the pages with so much grace, and without realizing it. He's the most gorgeous man I've ever met. He's really nice and just so...manly. All in all, he's amazing." I put a hand to my heart and sighed dreamily. 

She didn't say anything for a second.

"Just...don't get your hopes up. For all you know, he could be 30 years old and living with his wife and kids."

I chuckled and shook my head. "Sure."