middle of starting over

.15

"All we have is love."

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It was summer, just over six months since Cyrus had left his home to stay with Jonah and his family, and those months were the happiest of his life. He went to visit his dad every other day and he got to see his boyfriend's beautiful face every morning. The boys had celebrated Jonah's 17th birthday in February and celebrated Cyrus' 16th a few months later in May. Jonah has gloated for those few months in between their birthday's that Cyrus was dating a much older man, because in those few months Jonah was 17, Cyrus was 15.

"You know what today is, right?" Jonah asked in the morning of his seventeenth birthday as he turned in his bed to face Cyrus, who had woken up an hour earlier and was sat criss cross, reading a book.

"It's your birthday." Cyrus said as he looked down at the boy lying beside him, who was smiling mischievously back at him. "Am I missing something?"

"For the next 3 months and 12 days I will be two years older than you."

"That's not how it works-"

"Yes it is," Jonah smirked, "it's almost illegal."

"Oh, shut up." Cyrus laughed, closing his book and crawling on top of Jonah, kissing him deeply. "Happy Birthday, Jonah."

Jonah wrapped his arms around Cyrus' waist, pulling the boy's body closer to his own. "Thank you, Cyrus."

-

Cyrus awoke to empty bed. He looked the his left to see tangled sheets and Jonah's shirt, from the night before, on the floor. He looked around the room, but there were no signs of his boyfriend.

"Jonah?" Cyrus called, as he pulled on a sweater that had been discarded the night before. "Jonah, where are you?"

"I'm in the bathroom." Jonah's voice wavered as he called back to Cyrus.

Cyrus walked up to the bathroom and pressed his ear to the door. He could hear Jonah's breath shaking. The brown haired boy reached for the doorknob and twisted it, pushing the door open to reveal Jonah sitting on the floor, back to his shower, shirt off and hands running furiously through his hair. Cyrus rushes over to him, gently taking his hands in his own and pulling Jonah toward him as he sat down beside the boy. He wasn't going to ask Jonah what was wrong, not yet, he knew his boyfriend like the back of his hand, he knew it was better to wait for him to explain what was wrong, even if he didn't say anything right then.

"I'm sorry." Jonah breathed into Cyrus' neck, clutching the other boy's sweater with his hands. "I-I just- I don't-"

"Shhhh," Cyrus soothed as he ran his fingers through the other boy's hair, "I'm here, you're okay. Hey, you're okay." Cyrus took Jonah's face in his hands and placed their foreheads together, trying to give the other boy some form of safety in his arms.

"I-I'm good, Cy." Jonah smiled weakly at the other boy as he lifted his head. Cyrus stood and helped pull Jonah up from his spot against the bathtub. "I just, I don't know. I woke up and I sat up on the bed and just this wash of anxiety came over me, it was terrible. I didn't want to wake you up, so I went to the bathroom, and I don't- I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Jonah. I'm not mad, just next time, wake me up, you know that I love you and that I'll always be here for you," Cyrus paused and took the other boy's hands, "no matter what."

"No matter what." Jonah repeated and wrapped his arms around Cyrus, pulling him in for what seemed like the longest hug of their lives. Jonah pulled back and placed his hands on the other boy's cheeks, pulling him in for a kiss. Cyrus leaned away from him and smiled as he enveloped Jonah's bare torso in his arms, returning the kiss, a little deeper. "Cy-"

"Yes." Cyrus answered before Jonah could finish his question; a question both of them had been wanting to ask for the past few months.

Cyrus was pushed back into the bedroom, down onto the bed, and Jonah was on him within seconds, peppering his lips along Cyrus' jawline, making the other boy shiver. Jonah rolled over, pulling Cyrus on top of him and reaching his hands under the boy's sweater, feeling Cyrus' warm skin under his cold hands. Jonah smiled as Cyrus shivered under his touch and tilted his head up to meet the black haired boy's lips with his own. Jonah's eyes flew open when the beginnings of Cyrus' ringtone began to play. Cyrus sighed, leaning his head down to touch Jonah's forehead and then rolling off of the boy to sit up and grab his phone.

"Hey, Marty." Jonah heard Cyrus voice say, obviously confused. "Wait, what? Where is she?" Cyrus shot Jonah a panicked look, running his hand through his hair. "Yeah, yeah, we'll get there as soon as we can. We'll find her Marty. Yeah. I know. Okay. Bye."

Jonah looked up at his boyfriend, who had jumped off of the bed and began dressing himself in proper clothes, a pair of black jeans and a dark blue sweatshirt. He followed suit, pulling on a pair of brown shorts and a red long sleeved shirt. Jonah watched as Cyrus stopped completely, except for his hands, his hands were shaking.

"Cyrus," Jonah almost never used the other boy's full name, but this felt different, something didn't feel right, so he reached for Cyrus' shaky hands, "what's wrong?" Cyrus looked to him with sad eyes, a tear rolling down his right cheek.

"Buffy."

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