Souled [Editing]

Chapter 26

Meredith pulled into her driveway just as the sun started to dip under the horizon. The lights in her house were on and the curtains were still open. Sitting in the car, Meredith could see Ella lounging on the couch and facing the television. She was relieved to see Ella still there. Meredith had called her when she was an hour outside of Atlanta and asked her to be there when she came home.

The second Meredith opened the front door, the sound of Lily's paws on wood floors greeted her. Meredith dropped her bag by the door just as Lily ran up to her legs. Scooping up Lily, Meredith walked over to the couch where Ella was patiently waiting for her with a smile.

"Long time no see." Ella side hugged Meredith as she sat down.

"It has been a while hasn't it?"

"Quite a while especially since you've been gallivanting around the country."

Meredith looked away. "I know you're going to say I shouldn't have left the second time."

"No. You shouldn't have. But I can tell by the tone of your voice that you know that already. So instead of lecturing you, I'm going to listen."

Meredith's eyes lit up. "Really?"

Ella nodded. This was what Meredith needed and she was glad Ella was giving it to her. So much had happened in her short time in Oklahoma and she needed to talk to someone about it.

Meredith unleashed everything. All of the details of her trip with Nate that she hadn't been able to give Ella, everything that went down in Nate's apartment, and every last gory detail of her mistakes in Oklahoma. Ella listened patiently and attentively. She comforted Meredith when it got hard for her to relive certain events and let her be completely vulnerable.

"It's my fault," Meredith said after she finished recounting the kiss with Bobby.

"No it's not," Ella replied.

"It is. I know Bobby well and I should've known that boys like him don't change. Once he sees what he wants he goes after it. It doesn't matter the cost. I walked right into a trap that even a blind man could see from a mile away."

"Whether or not you knew better, he still didn't have the right to kiss you. I'm glad you walked out. I don't like him and I'm happy I'll never meet him."

"You're lucky." Meredith laughed as she wiped a stray tear away from the corner of her eye.

"Meredith?" Ella asked after a moment of silence.

"Yeah?"

"What are you going to do about Nate?"

Meredith looked down and started fiddling with a frayed string on the hem of her shirt. "I don't know," she whispered. "All I know is I can't figure it out if I stayed back in Oklahoma so I came back. I'm not sure if I'm ready to see him or talk to him."

"Will you ever be ready?"

"I hope one day I will. This is going to end one way or the other and I know I can't hide from it forever. I just want a plan first."

"I hope you have at least a little bit of a plan because Nate is currently parked on the street." Ella's eyes were fixated on the still open window which gave a perfect view of Nate's car and his silhouette walking towards the front door.

Meredith's heart seized into her throat. "What is he doing here?" Her palms started sweating and her pulse thudded in her ears.

"Please don't hate me okay?"

"Hate you for what?"

"When you called me and told me you were outside of the city...I told Nate you were coming back." Ella held her hands up as if Meredith was a cop stalking her, ready to surrender at any moment.

"You did what?" Meredith did everything in her power not to screech. Nate was approaching the door too fast and Ella still had a lot of explaining to do.

"He's been really worried about you and I wanted to let him know you were fine and no longer in Oklahoma. I had no idea he would show up here."

Instead of her heart hammering, Meredith's blood began to boil. "I can't believe you would do this! I don't want to talk to him right now and since you told him I'm back you can answer the door," Meredith said as Nate knocked at the door.

"Meredith? Please answer," Nate called from the other side of the door. The front door, at least, was closed and he couldn't see Meredith and Ella from his current vantage point.

"Meredith you need to handle this yourself," Ella said, not moving from her spot.

"I am not going to do this. You answer the door and tell him that I will talk to him later but not now."

Ella looked like she was going to fight Meredith more on the subject but instead she lowered her arms, straightened up, and walked to the front door.

"Nate," Ella said as a way of greeting.

"Ella. Is Meredith here? I see her car."

Nate started to poke his head in the door right as Ella said, "She's right here." Ella stepped back from the door frame and made enough room for Nate to step inside.

Standing in the middle of the living room directly in the line of sight of Nate's desperate stare, Meredith froze. A flood of emotions washed over her as his eyes pinned her. She wasn't ready for this. Seeing him again made her weak. Too weak. Still, she drank in the sight of him.

Dark smudges under his eyes suggested he had sleepless nights and his wrinkled shirt was a stark contrast to his usual crisp and put together demeanor. Even his hair was more disheveled than usual.

"Meredith," Nate breathed as he stared at her. Relief lit his tired eyes and his lips turned up into the smallest of smiles.

"I-I don't want to talk to you right now."

"Please," he begged. "Just let us talk through this."

"I can't do this right now, Nate."

"Meredith." The way he said her name was as soft as a whisper but held intimacy that only he had with her. "You disappeared for days. I've been worried sick about you. I called and you never answered. Just let us talk. I don't want you to sit on this any longer."

"I didn't answer your calls for a reason. I still need time to think. This isn't something we can just blow past. I need you to understand that. I stayed busy in Oklahoma and didn't find the refuge I needed. Give me more time."

Nate took another step inside the house. "I'll give you all the time you need but I want to know if this is even something we will work past. Will we make it?"

Meredith took a small step backwards, keeping the distance between them. "Time. Nate. You should be used to waiting. Isn't that what brought us together?"

Nate nodded. "Okay." He pivoted on his heel and walked out the door, but not before Meredith caught sight of the emotion on his face. Ella closed the door behind him.

"Not quite the progress I hoped for but at least you faced him," Ella said.

The anger from before flared up inside Meredith again. "I'm still not happy with you. I can't believe you went behind my back and told him my whereabouts."

"First, I didn't go behind your back. If you had some perspective, you would realize I'm doing this for your own good. I'm sorry I told him but he was worried sick. You heard him. I honestly didn't think he'd show up tonight."

"I don't care. He doesn't need to know where Iam when I'm trying to avoid him. I don't want to talk about this anymoretonight and I want to go to bed." I started for my bedroom. "You know the wayout."